Twelve Sharp: The Panic Button
by cltaylor
Summary: A/U- A world where Scrog is not only deranged but extremely dangerous. This is a darker look at Scrog's kidnapping of Julie and Stephanie in Twelve Sharp and the fallout after Scrog is gone.


_**Author: Christie (cltaylor, magnificentsin)**_

Summary: A/U- A world where Scrog is not only deranged but extremely dangerous. This is a darker look at Scrog's kidnapping of Julie and Stephanie in Twelve Sharp.

_**Notes for Twelve Sharp- The Panic Button:**_

This story is un-betaed. So all mistakes are mine. There are no chapters. Each section is deliberately written in short spurts to keep the pacing up. This story started out being a 200 word drabble piece for a Slices of Life story I'm working on and grew into a monster.

This is a _**finished**_ story. There _will be_ a sequel- _Aftermath_. _Aftermath_ is at the halfway mark.

Words: 24,623. (Around 98 pages.)

World: A/U Stephanie is in first person POV. Julie and Ranger are third person POV.

Rating: R/MA. I write for **adults** in an adult book series category. If you can't handle that, or you're of underage to read Mature rated fics, get lost now. This is rated adult oriented with adult situations and adult language and conversations.

_A/N: This is my disclaimer and warning for this story. I'm very serious. __**There is sensitive material below**_. Scrog's kidnapping of Stephanie isn't a pretty story. It isn't neat like JE's world in TS where we know nothing bad is going to happen to Steph. Bad shit happens in my fiction world.

_Spoilers_: Spoilers through Twelve Sharp. This story picks up and veers parallel at page **260** in Twelve Sharp onward. There are direct quotes from the book weaved into this story. I disclaim any ownage. A nod of respect goes to Janet Evanovich for creating these characters and world and allowing me to play with the pieces.

_**For my sister, Jill. **_

* * *

_**..::Panic Button::..**_

* * *

I checked the readout on my alarm clock and took a deep breath. Half past eleven.

Almost go time.

I had a half hour to get my shit together. I kept telling myself I'd done similar jobs like this before. But I was nervous, apprehensive. This was the most important thing I'd ever done in my life.

_Distraction wasn't much different than hostage negotiation_, I thought. Up close and personal with the target. Get the target to trust you, get what you want.

Piece of cake.

Ranger caught my gaze in the mirror. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I said, with a slight hesitation. "I mean, I will be once this is all said and done."

Ranger pulled his black t-shirt on. "Remember what I said?"

I nodded. Since Scrog contacted me Ranger's mantra became my mantra. "Push all unproductive emotions aside. Focus on the goal."

He slid a black nylon-web gun belt through the loops of his jeans and reached for his gun sitting on my nightstand. "You can do this."

I wasn't sure if that reassurance was for me or him. His emotions were closer to the surface than they'd ever been before. He'd been trying to rein them in since I'd made my decision; but he wasn't doing so well. Neither was I. I was scared. Scared I'd fail. Scared I'd mess up. Scared Julie would die because of a decision I'd make.

"You can do this," I told myself in the mirror. "You've got this. There's nothing to it."

I slid the last button home on the black leather vest Ella got for me that matched the black leather pants hugging my curves like second skin. I glanced at myself in the full length mirror on the outside of my closet door.

There was a lot of skin showing. The Kevlar layer didn't leave the vest with much give and the buttons were strained between my breasts. The dip of my abdomen, my hip bones, and the tease of my belly button were all visible. I did a ninety-degree turn to see the three inch gap between vest and pants showing my lower back and the dimples right above my ass crack.

Yikes.

"I think Ella was a little too optimistic with my size." I tugged on the back of my pants, trying to hike them up a bit. "I feel more like club slut than bounty hunter."

Ranger stepped into my personal space and ran his fingertip along my hip bone, dipping into the gap between skin and leather. I shivered at the contact, and pressed my back against his front.

"Sexy." He caught my gaze in the mirror and turned me to face him. His dark eyes almost completely black and flashed me a devastating smile as he leaned in to nuzzle my neck. "I think Ella deserves a raise."

"You would." Ranger's hand snaked around my side to pull me close and I playfully slapped his hand away. "Stop touching the goods."

"You make it hard to resist, Babe." Ranger chuckled and caught my hand easily. He brought my hand up to his lips and brushed them across my knuckles. "You got the panic button?"

"Yeah." My hand tightened around his in what I hoped was some reassurance. "I had to get a little inventive with the hiding place."

"Stephanie," he started warningly. He let go of my hand and leaned down so we were eye to eye. "You need to be able to reach it."

"I can. Besides-" I shrugged off his concern even though my palms were starting to get sweaty. "You're going to be right there, Ranger."

"I don't want to take any chances." He reached around me to the top of my dresser and grabbed his Bluetooth device. Ranger activated his Bluetooth and clipped his cell phone to his utility belt. Then he brushed my hair behind my ear and clipped a Bluetooth device to the outer shell of my ear. "Scrog is dangerous. Unpredictable. You need to be prepared for anything."

I didn't need to be reminded how dangerous of a situation I got myself into for Julie's sake. For Ranger's sake. Ranger had proven time and time again he'd do whatever he had to do to make me safe. It was my turn to show him I was willing to do the same. "I am."

"You remember the plan?"

I nodded. "Leave the cell phone on between me and you. Drive around until I get Scrog's call. Follow his instructions. Everyone will follow my lead."

"Right." Ranger pulled me into him. His chin rested on the top of my head. His arms wrapped tightly around me. His breathing measured and even; but his heart beat against my hand a little faster than usual. "Be careful."

"I will. Don't worry." I shifted and went to my tip-toes. I pressed my lips against his and lingered, not ready to let him go. "Everyone is going to come out of this alive."

"If something doesn't seem right or your spidey sense starts to tingle just get out." He ran his hand through my hair, pushing it away from my eyes and tucked a curl behind my ear. His fingers brushed the sensitive skin, the hollow beneath my lobe, with a feather light touch. "We'll think of something else."

"Ranger," I frowned, eyebrows scrunched together as I chewed my lower lip. We were running out of time. There were no other options. "This is our best chance."

"I understand that and Julie is important." He tipped my chin up so that we were eye to eye. His thumb ran along my jaw. "But I can't sacrifice you for Julie. I won't."

"I'm not a sacrifice if I go willingly. Someone has to go in and get her, Ranger." My fingers trembled as I laid my hand on his cheek. He had dark circles under his eyes, the beginnings of a five o'clock shadow sprouted along his jaw. "And Scrog wants me. I can use it to my advantage."

"Fuck," Ranger said softly. He turned his head so that he could press his lips against the inside of my wrist. "I don't like this."

"You can't do this for me." A nervous smile quirked the corners of my lips. "I can't see you wearing something like this."

"I'd do it in a heartbeat if it kept you safe."

Something fluttered deep inside me, but I pushed all thoughts of it aside. "Hold that thought for when I get back. I might need a laugh."

Ranger chuckled but it was quiet. I knew he wasn't finding humor in much of anything until I got back here with Julie and Scrog was nothing but a bad memory.

He took a deep breath and leaned forward to brush his lips against my temple. "I believe in you, Babe."

I leaned into him, closing my eyes and soaking up his confidence in me before I pushed away. I took a deep breath to steel my nerves and grabbed my cell phone. I hit the number one for speed dial and Ranger answered immediately.

"Don't turn this phone off. No matter what happens."

I nodded.

"And don't lose the panic button."

"Don't worry about that." My fingers tightened around the cell phone for a brief second before I relaxed. _Push all unproductive emotions aside. Focus on the goal._ "It's hidden. I'm safe."

Nothing short of being completely stripped would shake the panic button loose from me. And I ran through several scenarios in my mind before deciding on the hiding spot. I was capable of fighting Scrog off me. He wasn't going to get that close.

"All the same, Babe."

Ranger's cell phone buzzed and I tensed. It was time.

"Everyone's in place."

I nodded. "You'll be right behind me."

"All the way."

I swallowed hard, suddenly faced with all the misgivings and doubt running circles in my mind, wrecking havoc on my confidence. "Right."

I turned to head out and Ranger snagged my hip as I brushed past him. His lips lingered over mine, leaving me breathless for a reason other than promised gratification. I closed my eyes and leaned into him.

_I love you_.

I couldn't tell him. Not right now. This wasn't the right time. But maybe after we got Julie back and all was right in our world again, I'd tell him then.

"Regardless of how this goes down." His hand tightened on my lower back. "I'm proud of you."

I pressed my lips to his one last time and disentangled myself from Ranger. "See you on the flip side."

"I'll be the first person you see."

"I'll hold you to that." I paused, with my hand on the door. I took one last look at Ranger before I closed the door behind me.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, my cell phone rang.

"Lose the tail."

_No way._ "Okay."

"Go to the municipal building parking lot at the corner of Main and Fifteenth. Drive to the middle of the lot and wait."

The line went dead.

My knuckles turned white around the steering wheel of the mini. I spoke aloud to Ranger. "I'm going to the municipal building lot at the corner of Main and Fifteenth."

"You're doing great, Babe." I heard him speaking into his walkie-talkie, quietly giving instructions to the dozen vehicles flanked around the area. "At this time of the night there will only be a few maintenance workers around. Take your time. I want to send someone to check the lot out."

I took the long way around, killing ten minutes. Ranger came back on over the receiver. "There's a blue Honda Civic. Scrog probably wants you to swap rides. Just stay calm and relaxed. Everything will be okay, Babe."

My heart was pounding as I pulled into the lot. My phone rang again.

"Get out of the car and stand with your hands in the air. Turn around slowly."

"Why?"

"Do it now."

I took the Bluetooth off my ear and tossed it in the seat. I stood in the middle of an empty lot with the unnerving feeling of having someone stare me down through a rifle scope.

"Get into the Honda and follow the instructions in the passenger seat."

It took me three tries to get my fingers to turn the car over.

Scrog had instructed for me to go to the parking garage three blocks down on Main. Park the car on the second level, take the stairs to the street and walk east on Dennis towards city center. There was a condo building at 375 Dennis, enter through the front door and go to the elevator.

I had no phone, no Bluetooth; but I was pretty confident Ranger was close by and watching my every move.

I followed the instructions, taking my time to let Ranger keep up with me. Once I parked, I had a hard time getting my feet to move down the street. Each step was harder than the last. My blood turned to ice. Adrenaline was singing through my veins and left me lightheaded.

I stood outside the condo building and pressed my hands to either side of my face so I could peek in. Dimly lit. Unattended. Elevator to the immediate right. Bank of mailboxes on the left.

I took a steeling breath and blew it out slowly. I entered the foyer and there was a piece of paper taped to the wall.

RIDE THE ELEVATOR TO THE GARAGE.

I swore heavily. Scrog planned his move perfectly and to my disadvantage. Parking garages were extremely difficult to communicate electronically. Electronic devices sending out any kind of signal would be dead until I got out in the open again.

Scrog was clever; but I had Ranger on my side. Ranger was watching, waiting. He'd be ready to jump in the second something went wrong.

I was sweating, feeling faint but I kept remember Ranger's mantra. _Push all unproductive emotions aside. Focus on the goal. _My gaze darted from side to side, looking for Scrog, knowing he was watching me.

"You look better than my fantasy."

Yuck. I shuddered, disgusted. "Dream on."

The shadows moved and I got a glimpse of Scrog. He stalked towards me, dressed in all black to match mine. His utility belt held two holsters for guns. The other, I noticed as he got closer, was a taser.

_Stay calm_, I reminded myself. "Where is Julie?"

Scrog shrugged. "She's close by."

"I want to see her."

"You're not in the position to make demands." He motioned at me to move closer to the van with his gun and my feet were frozen to the concrete. "You being followed wasn't a part of the plan, Stephanie."

"I've done everything as you've instructed." I fought the urge to fidget. "There is no one here but me and you."

"I'm not blind, nor am I stupid. There are about a half-dozen unmarked cars near this area." Scrog closed the distance between us and shoved me towards a black SUV that looked a lot like one of Ranger's Explorers. "Take your clothes off."

"No." I darted a look around the garage. It was dead, dark, deserted. Yelling wouldn't bring help. Stalling wasn't an option since I had no way to communicate with Ranger without my cell phone. If I took my clothes off, the panic button would be lost too. I couldn't lose both. "You'll have to kill me first."

He smirked and a sliver of dread slithered down my spine. My feet were back pedaling away from him all on their own. "Killing you would be a simple matter, Stephanie. But that's not a part of the plan."

"Then what is the plan?" My eyes trained on the gun he held in one hand, mindful of the taser holstered on his utility belt. "What is all this for exactly?"

Scrog stalked closer and I inched back, preparing to dart. He cocked the hammer back and I froze. I held my hands up in surrender.

"Ah ah ah, Stephanie. I hold all the cards here. I have Julie. I have you."

"Julie hasn't done anything to you." I needed him to bring Julie out in the open. "Let her go and take me instead."

"As tempting as that may be-" Scrog stepped into me and my flight senses were going haywire but I kept my hands where he could see them. I tried not to flinch when he grabbed my upper arm, dragging me closer to him. Cold steel pressed into my side as he dragged me back towards the black SUV. "I want you both. Then I will have him right where I want him."

"Ranger?" I breathed, terrified. I was finding it extremely difficult to be brave. My knees knocked together and I tried locking them to stay on my feet. "Ranger doesn't care about Julie. That's why he sent me instead."

The gun pressed harder into my skin and I gulped.

"Save it. You think I don't know what either of you are to _him_?" Scrog spat the word at me. "Especially you. I've been watching you. The way he looks at you. The way you look at him."

It was getting increasingly harder to breathe. I hoped Ranger was close. "Like what?"

Scrog snorted. "Like don't worry about it."

The butt of the gun thumped me on the back of the head and I fell to my knees. I screamed and my hands went up immediately to cover the soft spot in my head he smashed. Metal prongs pressed into my neck.

The sensation hit me like a Mack truck and electricity jumped through my nerves. My vision went black as I slumped to the concrete.

_Ranger._

_Hurry, Ranger._

* * *

..::::..

* * *

Julie struggled to sit up, the stiff pain in her shoulders made her whimper. Her hair was plastered to her face. Places where tears had streaked down her face made the sweat and dirt caked to her skin feel like concrete.

She tried to shake off the disorientation. The dizziness made her vision swim and she found it hard to keep her eyes open and focused. Her wrists were bound together in her lap, held together by tape. There was a rag tied around the back of her head. Her legs were asleep. Her wrists were raw, bleeding, burning from being constantly restrained. Muscles cramped, her throat burned, ached for some water.

There were three close walls, completely pitch dark except for the faint sliver of light that peeked through the wood slats and the gap between the door and frame.

_Closet_, she thought. _He tossed me in a closet_.

She listened for a few heartbeats and struggled to hear past the dull roar in her ears. Julie leaned forward and pressed her face to the gap. The light allowed her a very narrow look at her surroundings.

The room was concrete, exposed metal piping and a single light bulb hung from the open beam ceiling. There was a mattress on the floor, blankets twisted in the middle. A five gallon bucket was flipped over as a makeshift stool.

She was alone.

She had to get out of here while Scrog was gone.

Julie pushed back from the door and struggled to stay upright as she tried to get to her knees. She refused to give into the fear, the panic, the dread. Julie swallowed hard, barely breathing past the knot in her throat. Sweat dripped into her eye and she used her shoulder to wipe it away.

How many days had she been locked up? How many weeks?

_Mama would be upset, _Julie thought_. __I shouldn't have fought with her. How long was I gone before someone realized I wasn't hiding? Why haven't they found me yet? Did mama call Ranger? Would he look for me? Ranger finds people. Mama said that's what he does for a job. _

_Would Ranger be able to find her?_

Mama would realize Julie didn't run away and that someone kidnapped her. So someone was looking for her. It was just a gut feeling she had and until then, Julie had to do her part. She had to get some place where she could be found.

Julie rubbed her wrists together, trying to loosen the tape. Fine hairs ripped out, the skin stuck to the adhesive and pulled painfully. She took a deep breath through her nose and squeezed her eyes shut tight. The smell of stale sweat and urine mixed with mildew hit her hard. Her stomach rolled in protest. Her eyes watered and her nose started to burn.

_Don't throw up, _Julie thought_. Don't throw up. That will be gross and you'll choke and have to swallow it. Oh gross._

A door crashed open and Julie shrank back against the far wall, pushing herself out of the light.

"Jesus fucking Christ! Sonovabitch! You're fucking heavier than you look."

Scrog had someone with him.

Julie slowly, quietly scooted on her knees towards the gap. She ignored the pins and needle feeling in her feet and legs and pressed her face to the light in order to get a better look.

A mess of curly brown hair covered a face. Legs and arms were limp, head dangled over his arm. The body stirred and Julie heard a low painful moan in a soft feminine voice.

_A woman._

"Time to get this show started." Scrog shook the woman in his arms and she didn't respond. "Gotta get you into position."

Scrog dropped the woman onto the mattress and dropped a canvas bag on the floor beside her. The woman didn't brace for impact and bounced limply until she settled half on, half off the bed. He grabbed a short length of chain that had two sets of handcuffs attached at the ends. He flipped her over. He made quick work of her arms, restraining them to the metal piping.

Scrog crouched down and hovered over the bag. Julie watched him rustle around and pull out something silver. She narrowed her eyes, trying to focus on the silver object. He wrapped his hand around it and hit a button. A red light blinked and he flipped out a screen.

Julie gasped behind the gag. Scrog had a camcorder.

He sat the camcorder on the stool and joined the woman on the mattress.

"Wake up!" Scrog smacked the woman roughly across the face several times. "I said wake up!"

The woman moaned again. A low painful groan as she flinched away from Scrog. Julie shifted in the closet to get a better look. Scrog blocked most of the woman's face. But there was something familiar about how she looked and her hair. That curly mop on the top of her head triggered something Scrog had told her. Julie just couldn't remember what exactly that was.

"I need you to wake up now." Scrog grabbed a handful of the woman's hair and pressed his lips to hers. The sloppy exchange rolled Julie's stomach and she looked away, unable to tolerate it.

"You fucking bitch!" Scrog roared. The sound of struggling got Julie's attention and she eagerly pressed her face to the light again. The sound of his hand cracked against the face of the woman and she groaned. "You busted my fucking nose!"

The springs of the mattress creaked as Scrog half turned towards Julie, blood poured down his face as he clutched the bridge of his nose. His gaze was fixed right where Julie sat watching him and he grinned.

Julie's stomach fluttered with nerves. She'd seen that look on his face before when he'd been bragging to her about killing his wife.

"You know, I have our daughter. If she sees you fighting me I'm afraid you'll be setting a bad example." Scrog leaned over the woman. "I can't have you doing that or I'll have to keep you separated."

"Julie," the woman whispered. The woman struggled weakly and Julie saw she was trying to look around for her. Julie clawed at the door, trying to alert her whereabouts to the woman who obviously knew she was here. Julie yelled at the woman she was right here; but her voice was muffled by the gag. "Where is she?"

Scrog moved and Julie got a better look of the woman. The hair, the eyes. Now she realized who the woman was to Ranger. The woman Scrog had been talking about non-stop for days.

Julie's eyes widened in horror.

_Stephanie._

* * *

..::::..

* * *

_Julie. Where is she?_

_I have to find her._

I groaned. My body ached. I tried to raise my head. I tried to make my arms and legs move. I couldn't. Something held me down.

"She's close by."

I felt his gaze on me. Repulsion snaked through me and I shivered. Sweat rolled down my spine, between my breasts, matted my hair to my forehead and nape of my neck. Fingernails scraped against my collarbone and down my left arm. Goosebumps covered every inch of my skin. "She's safe. I wouldn't let them take our little girl from us."

_Julie. _

"Julie," I croaked. My throat was dry. My head felt like there were weights tied to my ears. There was something crawling through my veins that left me disoriented and dizzy. "What did you do to me?"

He laughed. "I gave you something to make you a little more agreeable."

"Fuck," I breathed out. My stomach rolled and burned. The room spun as I tried to focus my gaze on searching every nook, every cranny of the shadowed room. Julie was somewhere in here. My heart fluttered with hope that I'd found her in time. "Show me Julie."

"She's _sleeping_ right now." The backs of his fingers trailed over my cheekbone and I tried hard to move away. My head lolled to the side and I tried to keep my eyes open. "I didn't want her to see what mommy and daddy were about to do."

_Oh God. No._

"You're not Carlos Manoso." My mind flipping through thought after thought of the little girl kidnapped and held captive by this psycho for days. "You aren't Ranger, Edward Scrog. Don't do this."

"I'm whoever I say I am." Scrog gripped the collar of my vest and with a jerk, the buttons and leather gave way. I tried to fight him off but my body moved like lead. I couldn't kick or scream. I couldn't jerk at the chains holding me against the wall.

My gaze was glued to him. I felt frantic, scared, terrified, but I tried to not let that show through my expression. "Get off me."

The handcuffs bit into the soft skin of my wrists as he leaned his full weight into me. His breath was hot on my neck. Disgust turned my stomach and I swallowed hard to keep from throwing up.

"Stephanie." Scrog jerked on the handcuffs and wretched my shoulders until it was all I could do to hold back a whimper of pain. He bit my earlobe, teeth sinking into the flesh and the warm trickle of blood dripped onto my neck. "Start enjoying this or-"

His fingertips bit into my breast, painfully kneading and pinching. I whimpered, biting my lip until I tasted blood. "Julie will suffer the consequences."

"No." My brain shut down. _Dear God_. "Don't touch her."

"I will unless you obey me," Scrog hissed. He flipped out a knife. The tip pressed into the skin tight pant leg and trailed up. The material split easily and once he had a handful, he ripped one whole side off.

"You'll do this, Stephanie, either one of two ways." I shied away from his hand running up the inside of my thigh and bit back a whimper. He leaned closer, his breath hot on my neck as he bit my pulse point. "You'll stop fighting me. Stop fighting the way I make you feel when I touch you. Show me what you're like when _he_ fucks you."

"No."

"Stephanie," he hissed my name and my skin crawled. I twisted away as his hand cupped me between my legs. His other hand grabbed my chin and his fingers pressed into my jaw. "Obey me or I'll fuck Julie. I'll fuck her and you can watch."

"Don't do this," I whispered. I willed myself to thrash around, move, do anything. Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes as frustration settled inside me. "Don't touch her. Julie's just a little girl. She hasn't done anything to you."

His hand grabbed my underwear and jerked. The material ripped away and I tried bucking him off. His knees fell on top of my hips, holding me down.

"What is this?" A tiny circular device was pinched between his fingers. He brought it up for closer inspection and I desperately tried shimmying away. He pressed his full weight into my hips and growled low in his throat. "A tracker."

"No." I felt frozen in fear. _The panic button_.

"You think you're fucking sneaky?" His dark eyes flashed and he turned a dark shade of red. He crushed the device in his hand and tossed the rest of it against the wall. "You've been neutralized since the parking garage. _He_ won't save you."

"Ranger will find a way."

"Our dear Julie's life rests in my hands and you've disobeyed me again." Scrog tutted as a smile crossed his lips. "Not cut out to be a very good mother figure, are you? That's okay. I don't like the brat anyway."

"You're fucking delusional."

"But I'm in control." His hand dipped between my legs and I growled low in my throat, trying to push his away. "You or Julie. Take your pick."

I remained silent.

"Should I assume your silence means you chose me over the brat? Or should I go get her?"

"Don't fucking touch Julie!" I jerked at the chains holding my arms useless. Tears leaked from my eyes and I sucked in deep gulping breaths. I pitched to the side, trying to swallow back any weak sounds clawing their way out.

He pressed into me hard, his hands bruising, punishing. His laughter rang out as I struggled against him pathetically. "I want you to call me Ranger."

"No."

Scrog leaned up, wrenching my arms nearly out of socket. The pain was intense, white spots danced in front of my eyes. He pulled even further and I bit the inside of my cheek.

"I will break you." He dragged his lips down the side of my face, tongue licking away sweat. "And then I will break her. I bet she tastes sweet, Stephanie. I bet she'd call me Ranger if I asked her."

_Oh God_. This couldn't be happening.

"Call me Ranger."

I closed my eyes, tears leaked out of the corners. This wasn't Ranger. This wasn't his hands on me. That wasn't the sound of his voice.

This wasn't _Ranger_.

I swallowed hard, and I wasn't sure I'd get the word past my lips. The word a plea that wouldn't find the ears of the one intended. "Ranger."

"Say it like you mean it, Stephanie." Scrog rolled his hips against mine and I shrank away. His fingers bit into my skin, holding me still. "Tell me how much you like this."

"I-I-" I swallowed past the need to throw up, struggling to shut my mind off. I could barely breathe and turned my head to the side so I didn't have to look at Scrog.

_Please be okay, Julie. You've been so strong and brave. I'm going to get you out of this alive. Even if it's the last thing I do. _

I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to pretend to be somewhere else. Far away from this.

_Please be okay._

* * *

..::::..

* * *

The sound of chain links clinking together as they slid over concrete stirred me awake.

"Clean her up."

The door slammed and startled me. I groaned as I rolled from my side to my back. My pulse hammered inside my head. My heart felt as if it were barely able to keep pumping. My entire body was numb.

"Don't move yet." The girlish voice was soft, husky from days of silence. "The drugs will make you sick."

A cool hand smoothed over my forehead and a blanket was tugged up to my shoulders. I turned my head enough to recognize the dark hair and eyes of ten year-old Julie Martine.

"Julie." I pulled my hand free of the blanket and grabbed her hand. She was clammy. Her little hand cold in my own. "I'm Stephanie."

"I know," she murmured. A sad smile graced her lips, her gaze downcast. "Thank you for finding me."

"This didn't quite go as planned, Julie, but I got the results Ranger wanted. I found you." I groaned as I shifted my arms, flexing my fingers. Shooting pain like a million needles stabbing every nerve fired down my arms as blood started to circulate. I blew out a heavy sigh. "I'll get us out of here, one way or another."

Julie wrapped her other hand around mine and I could see her tiny shoulders shake. I sat up; ignoring how my head protested and my entire world shifted on its axis. I tucked one blanket under my armpits to hold it in place and wrapped my arm around Julie. "It's going to be okay Julie. You're going to be okay."

"I wasn't sure." She pressed harder into me, her tears hot against my bare shoulder. I stroked her hair and I felt my heart break into a million pieces. "I wasn't sure anyone was looking for me."

"Julie," I whispered. "Ranger is tearing up the country looking for you."

"It's just-" She hiccuped and another sob escaped her as she wrapped her arm around my neck holding me tight. "I don't know Ranger. He doesn't know me. He doesn't love me."

"He loves you so much, Julie." I swallowed hard, trying not to cry and be strong for a terrified little girl. "Ranger won't stop looking for you, Julie. He won't stop until you're safe. He doesn't give up."

"Promise?"

"I promise." I smoothed her hair away taking note of every little bruise and all the dried blood on her skin. Her wrists were raw. Her right ear bloody from the inside out. "Did Scrog hurt you?"

She shook her head against my shoulder and I shifted her at my side so I could talk to her but hold onto her to show her I wasn't going anywhere. She adjusted, putting her legs over my thighs and curled into me. "Can you tell me what you've noticed about him? Something he does every day?"

"He talks to himself a lot." Julie laid her cheek on my shoulder, her hand wrapped around my shoulder. She played with the ends of my hair, twining them around her finger. "He moves every day or so, but I'm not sure. I've lost track of time. He keeps me locked up most of the time."

"Does he talk about anyone you know?"

"He talked about a woman he killed." Carmen, I assumed, who had been staking me out. I found her dead body. "And he told me he was trying to find my mother before anything happened to her."

"Your mother knows Ranger didn't do this."

"He wasn't talking about my mother, Rachel. He was talking about you, Stephanie." Julie tipped her head back to study my face with those dark eyes so much like Ranger's dark gaze. "He keeps referring to himself as Ranger. When he leaves he says he has business to take care of at Rangeman. He has to make sure Stephanie is okay. He reminds me to call him daddy."

"Julie," my stomach twisted and turned but I had to know. "Scrog didn't touch you, did he?"

Julie shook her head slowly.

"I'll make sure he doesn't." I took a deep breath and held it. I felt antsy, unnerved. The time between being at the parking garage and from the time I woke up with Julie kneeling beside me was hazy. The nightmare I'd had more realistic than any dream I'd had ever in my life. But the nightmare didn't explain why I was stripped naked. "I'm glad you're okay."

She was quiet, thoughtful for a moment. Julie gazed up at me with those eyes so much like Ranger's that it was painful to look into them. "Ranger will come for us?"

My smile wobbled, but there was nothing that could shake my confidence in Ranger. If I could keep Scrog in one place long enough, Ranger would find us. I tucked some of her hair behind her ear. "Ranger will find us. And when he does, there will be hell to pay."

* * *

..::::..

* * *

Julie snuggled against my side, the blanket tucked around her shoulders. Her breathing was deep and even. I had a pulsing headache. Every time I opened my eyes, the dim light burned my retinas. So I kept my eyes were closed but stayed hyper alert. Every little sound made my eyes pop open and search the room.

I wouldn't let Scrog touch Julie. Or take her out of my sight.

Julie was so small, almost like a living breathing porcelain doll. She was smaller than Mary Alice, who was two years younger and small for her age. Her dark hair was matted down from days of blood and sweat. There were tear tracks down her cheeks. Her lips were cracked. Her fingernails blunted and caked with dried blood and dirt.

She'd lived every parent's worst nightmare and survived on her own for days. She was strong. Every inch Ranger's daughter. He would be so proud of her.

I was.

The door flew open and Scrog tore into the room. His eyes were wide, wild and locked on the two of us sleeping.

"Get dressed." He tossed clothes to me and ripped the blankets away from us. "We have to leave. Now."

Julie woke up with a start, panicked and searched my gaze for some reassurance. I grabbed her hand and squeezed before slipping on the t-shirt and sweat pants Scrog had thrown at me. "Where are we going?"

"This is your fault." Scrog fixed me with a look. The hard glint in his eyes made me cringe on the inside. "You're little stunt with that tracker cost us our cover."

A spark of hope fluttered to life. There was no doubt in my mind. Ranger would find us if I could stall Scrog long enough.

"Steph," Julie rubbed at her eyes, hugging my side. I rubbed her back. "I don't feel good."

I was lightheaded, dizzy and not feeling too hot myself.

"It's okay," I whispered. I knew she was scared Scrog would separate us. "I'm not going to leave you."

"There is no use trying to stall." The smell of gasoline hit my nose and Julie gagged, coughing until she was red in the face. I tore part of the oversized t-shirt off and wrapped it around Julie's head, and adjusted it so she could see. Her eyes were watering and she pressed a shaking hand to her mouth and nose. "By the time _he_ finds this place, we'll be long gone."

"Why torch the place?" I asked, confused. "There's nothing to find here."

"Just shut up." Scrog faced turned a dark shade of red and he was sweating profusely. "You've made me very mad. I want to kill you, but I have plans. An order of execution. Do you understand, Stephanie?"

"Yes," I whispered. I moved to the open door slowly, guiding Julie with me as we inched around Scrog.

He pulled a lighter out of his pocket; and I knew the place would go up immediately with the amount of gasoline he used.

"If you light this place on fire before we get out, we'll die." Scrog cut his gaze to me and Julie shrank into me. He was waiting for me to back down. But it wasn't going to happen. "And if something happens to us in the mean time-"

Scrog stomped in our direction. I shoved Julie behind me just in case Scrog decided to do something unpredictable. He stared me down, almost eye level. He looked nothing like Ranger. He was balding. His face puffy, his irises too light, the whites were yellowed with jaundice. He was heavier than Ranger and not at all defined muscularly.

"Are you challenging my authority, Stephanie?"

"No." I held his gaze and added softly, "I'm just looking out for Julie."

His fist shot out and slammed into my jaw. I stumbled, almost drunkenly, but managed to stay on my feet.

"I tell you when you can leave." His hand wrapped around my upper arm, cutting off circulation as he steadied me. "Understand?"

"Yes."

"If I hear anymore lip out of you, I'll slit your throat in front of that brat."

I nodded and grabbed Julie's hand and held it tight. Scrog tightened his hold on me, nearly pulling the arm out of socket as jerked us out of the room. We went up several flights of stairs. The smell of garbage was overpowering but not nearly as overpowering as the under layer smell of stale sex and sweat.

Scrog marched us through the dark and pushed through a metal door. My eyes immediately scanned the area. The alley wasn't a place I was familiar. Nor did it open up to any street that looked familiar.

"Stay here." Scrog opened up the back of a black paneled van and shoved us in. He slammed the door shut behind us.

Scrog was either incredibly stupid or incredibly cocky, I thought. He left us alone and he hadn't bother to lock the van.

"Here's the plan," I said to Julie as she pulled down her makeshift mask. "I'm going to count to three and I'm going to shove the door open. We'll make a run for it. Can you do that?"

Julie nodded vigorously.

"Run as fast as you can. We'll find the nearest place to get help. But no matter what, don't look back."

"You'll be with me?"

My plan was to distract Scrog long enough Julie could get away. But she couldn't know that or she would hesitate. "I'll be right behind you."

"Don't leave me," Julie pleaded.

"I won't."

I started to count, listening for any signs Scrog waited right outside the van. I shifted against the hard metal bed of the van and started to scoot the back door as it was ripped open.

I stared in shock at Scrog. He made a grab for Julie and I lunged at him. "No!"

Scrog stiff-armed me in the sternum. My momentum propelled me backwards as Scrog grabbed Julie's leg. She kicked and looked around wildly for something to grab onto. I shot forward to grab her arm, only to let her fingertips slip through mine.

"What did I tell you about your mouth, Stephanie?"

"Don't hurt her," I pleaded. Sweat rolled down my brow and stung my eyes but I didn't dare take my gaze off Julie. "Please."

"The next time you even think about deceiving me-"

The threat wasn't lost on me. "Just don't hurt Julie."

Scrog pulled out a roll of duct tape and slapped a piece over Julie's mouth and rolled several layers around the raw skin of her wrists. He tossed her back into the van with me and crooked his finger in my direction and pointed to the ground in front of him. "Come here."

I slid forward, putting my feet on the asphalt and willed my knees to give me enough strength to walk to him. I held my wrists out to him and watched as he wrapped the duct tape around my wrists too tight.

"This should keep your pretty mouth out of trouble in the mean time." He slapped a piece of duct tape over my mouth and leaned close to my ear. "I knew I couldn't trust you. The next time you plan an escape, you might want to make sure I'm not standing right outside."

He tapped my lips from over the tape as if he was giving me a reminder to be quiet and he shoved me back into the van. He slammed the door and I listened hard to hear his footsteps leading away. I jerked my head towards Julie and she scooted towards me. I leaned my back against the side of the van and Julie settled against my shoulder. I leaned my cheek against the crown of her head and closed my eyes.

I hummed a song Grandma Mazur used to hum when I was upset. I didn't know the words. Or why it always made me feel better but I figured it was better than nothing. I couldn't tell Julie we were going to be okay. But I wanted to offer any reassurance. I didn't want her to give up.

Scrog got back into the van. The smell of gasoline and heat filled the van. I could hear the roar of a blazing fire. Julie stiffened beside me; but I shrugged my shoulder to get her to look up at me. I did my best to give her a smile and scrunched my eyes. She relaxed and leaned back into me. I laid my head on top of hers and hummed until I knew she was asleep.

My gaze darted to the front of the van. Scrog was congratulating himself, talking in low hushed tones so even if I strained my hearing I couldn't tell what he was saying.

I braced myself against the sidewall of the van. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. First I just needed to rest my eyes. Then I'd think up a master plan. Ranger would have every available resource trying to track us down. Up until now, Scrog had managed to avoid Ranger and stayed one step ahead of him. But he was bound to slip up and when that happened, I needed to be ready to act.

I memorized each turn he made and tried to figure out where we were. We drove for a long time. It was hard to stay awake but every time we pitched around a curve, I braced my feet on the floor and held onto Julie.

I lost track of how many times we turned. For all I knew, we were halfway to California by the time the van slowed to a stop.

I watched as Scrog looked over his shoulder at Julie, slumped into my side, sleeping lightly and locked his crazy gaze on me.

He grinned, yellowed teeth gleamed. "We're home."

He threw open the driver's side door and jerked the back door open. He grabbed Julie's ankle and started pulling her away from me. I made a grab for her, hoping to lasso her in my arms and hold her tight; but I couldn't swing my arms out far enough.

"Stay away," Julie whimpered, still disoriented from sleeping. Her words were muffled. Her eyes were wide, fearful as she kicked at Scrog and tried to find something to hold onto to keep her in the van. "Stay away from me!"

He laughed and jerked her leg hard. Scrog's terrifying chuckle kicked my adrenaline into full gear. I launched off my ass and jumped him as I flew out the rear of the van. We both fell to the ground. Julie fell behind us with a pained cry as she hit the ground hard.

I rolled to my knees and pushed to my feet before Scrog could move. I shoved my bare foot hard into Scrog's side, crumbling him to his side and kept kicking.

"Run!" I yelled at Julie.

The muffled sound of my command wasn't lost on Julie as she rolled to her knees and started to sprint down the dirt road. She disappeared into the dark and I was breathing heavy behind the tape.

"You fucking asshole!" I swore at him, sucked deep gasping breaths through my nose as I started to cry. Snot clogged my nose but I didn't let up. I was quickly turning into a blubbering mess. "I fucking told you not to touch her! Don't touch Julie! Don't touch her! Don't-"

One of Scrog's fists caught the back of my knee and I tumbled down. I twisted as I fell, not willing to fall to my stomach and be helpless. I stumbled against his leg and my knee hit his groin.

"Oh fuck," Scrog groaned. "My balls."

I beat his face in, pummeling him over and over. Blood poured out of Scrog's nose and mouth as he thrashed and tried to shove me off him. I pushed myself up off his chest and kicked him again. Over and over until he stopped moving.

I couldn't tell if he was breathing. I didn't dare stop to find out. I turned and took off down the dirt road after Julie. I gasped against the tape and sucked air through my nose, hyperventilating, worried about Julie. If we could just find another house, or some signs of life, we might be okay.

I turned at the end of the road. I heard vehicles but couldn't see any lights. I started to run, hoping I was going in the same direction as Julie.

Suddenly, I pitched forward. Heavy weight slammed into the back of me and I went sailing to the ground. Bits of rock and clumps of dirt tore into my skin. All the air was knocked out of me and a meaty hand sank into my hair. Fingertips pressed into my scalp, bruising and crushing, ripping out my hair.

"You fucking bitch!" Scrog roared. He was snarling and growling low in his throat. Swear words left his mouth one right after another. The whistle of his heavy breathing punctuated each word.

My head pitched forward and I couldn't bring my hands up fast enough to brace for impact. My face slammed into the ground. Pain erupted in my nose, the crunching sound echoed. Blood filled my mouth, bubbled from my nose.

"I give you an inch and you take a fucking mile." Voltage shot into me, the sensation heavier than before and my muscles twitched, my mouth opened in a silent scream. "I'll make you regret that."

* * *

..::::..

* * *

It was dark. The sounds of animals stalking through the woods sent a shiver down Julie's spine as she sped through, weaving and dodging low hanging branches. Bramble bushes tugged at her clothes and snagged her skin. Julie didn't dare to slow down no matter how many rocks cut into her bare feet or how many times she slipped and fell.

_Run. _

Steph's voice kept screaming at her to keep moving. She could barely hear vehicles over the roar of her own heart. She just had to find a vehicle. She could stop someone. Someone would help her. And she'd get Steph help.

"Julie." Each syllable was drug out, making it sound sing-songy. "Ju-lee!"

Julie kept moving away from the voice. If he was already looking for her something must've happened to Stephanie. She had to find someone. Anyone. She needed help. Or Steph might not be okay.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Julie." Scrog's voice sent a chill down her spine. "Come out; come out, wherever you are."

Julie pressed herself flat against a tree, hidden by the tree canopy and her dark clothes. He didn't seem too close, but too close for comfort. Julie slipped around the tree and kept her gaze trained in the direction she heard his voice.

She walked backwards, careful about her foot placing.

"Julie." Scrog sounded closer and Julie pivoted. Her bare foot slipped in the dew wet grass. Julie tried to throw her weight forward, hoping to keep her balance and not alert Scrog to where she was at; but she fell to her knees. She bit her tongue to keep from crying out and scrambled to stay in the cluster of trees. Her fingers slipped through grass and she tumbled down the hill.

It seemed like she fell forever, tumbling head over heels until she plunged into a freezing cold creek. Water splashed around her, filled her nose and choked her. Julie was forced to swallow water to keep breathing. Jagged rocks tore her hands as she struggled to push herself upright.

_Where there was a creek, there was a bridge_, Julie thought. And a bridge meant there might be traffic.

The cold water made her feel more alert and she listened for any sound Scrog might've found her. Her gaze darted from right to left, trying to see him in the dark.

Her lungs burned, her muscles cramped. Julie darted to the right, jumping out of the water and running along the creek ridge. Moonlight spilled through in patches as she tried to be careful not to slip again.

She could hear the dull roar of vehicles now. She would make it.

_Hold on, Steph_, Julie thought as she ducked another branch. She saw the faint glow of headlights ahead of her. The terrain was steep and Julie fell to her hands and knees as she started to crawl her way up to the road.

Adrenaline sang through her veins and gave her an extra boost of energy as she cleared the hill and fell to her belly in the ditch along the side of the road. Julie panted behind the tape, struggled to suck enough air through her nose to keep her from hyperventilating.

_I need to get rid of the tape_, Julie thought with a cringe. It would hurt. But she would suck it up.

She rolled to her back and took a couple of shallow breaths through her nose. She peeled a corner of the tape away from her cheek and struggled to get a good grip.

_On the count of three,_ she told herself. _One. Two._

Julie squeezed her eyes tight and held her breath. All it came whooshing out as the top layer of her skin came off with the adhesive.

Tears stung her eyes and she swiped them away as she gulped air.

Julie rolled back to her stomach and watched the road for several minutes. Observing either side and listening for any sign that Scrog had found her.

Nothing.

Headlights coming from the opposite direction caught her eye. From her spot in the ditch, Julie didn't think anyone could see her. She was dirty. Her clothes dark. She waited for a few seconds, scared to jump from her hiding place, scared to stay where she was.

_Be brave_, Julie thought. _Think about __what Steph did for you_. _She gave you this. Don't waste it._

The sound the vehicle moving towards her spurred her forward. Julie shoved all her weight behind her hands to push her upright and she stumbled to her feet. The embankment was slippery, the grass wet. Several times she fell to her hands and Julie pulled her weight forward, curling her toes into the ground to keep from falling back. She braced her forearms on either side of the road and pulled herself up. Her muscles quivered, her knees shook. The vehicle came closer and Julie locked her knees to keep standing.

She desperately wanted to flag them down. Scream at the top of her lungs; but she couldn't risk Scrog finding her. Instead, Julie started running towards the car, hoping they could see her. Praying they stopped and didn't drive by her.

The sound of boots on the pavement didn't register until it was too late. Julie felt another presence behind her and she turned, her eyes wide as Scrog came out of nowhere and dove at her.

"Help!" Julie screamed. She stumbled to the side, unable to dodge him and both of them went sailing over the steep embankment.

She fell head over heel and tried to put her gaze on Scrog but lost him as she splashed back into the creek. A large creek rock smashed into her temple and her vision went black temporarily.

Julie groaned and only the thought of Steph spurred her to push herself upright and get back up. Her ankle hurt and Julie shifted her weight off her right side to keep standing.

She listened, barely hearing anything over the sound of her own heartbeat. Julie couldn't hear Scrog or see him; but a car slowed to a stop and Julie heard two car doors slam shut.

"I saw a girl," the woman's voice rang clear as a bell through the night. "She was standing right here."

"You're seeing things," the man scoffed. "Just because the Highway Patrol was stopping people asking if they'd seen a ten year-old girl doesn't mean she was standing on the side of the road."

"She was right here," the woman growled.

"I told you that you shouldn't have had that fourth glass of wine."

"I didn't ask for your opinion, asshole." Julie limped towards the sound of their voices, disoriented and dizzy. She stumbled several times trying to get out of the creek. "She was here. There was a little girl standing right here."

Julie didn't know where Scrog had landed. It didn't matter now. If she could get the attention of the people standing at the top of the road, she could get help. Any sort of noise might get them to look down at the bottom of the bridge for her. Julie started screaming, her throat hoarse but she managed to make enough sound to get some attention.

"Do you hear that?"

"It's probably just an animal." Julie heard a car door open. "Let's get out of here."

"Help!" She could see the faint outline of two silhouettes and hear the vehicle running. She stared up at the two adults, waving her arms, pleading for them to see her. "Down here! Help!"

There was the sound of laughter behind her.

"Found you, brat." The heavy thump of something solid smacked her against the temple and as Julie's vision faded, her gaze stared up at the two adults getting back into their car and driving away.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

Everything seemed dim. The faint feeling of my blood rushing through my veins to the barely there beat of my heart that felt heavier than usual. There was a dull roar in my head making it impossible to focus. I blinked several times past the fog settled in my mind. The shock of pain behind my eyes kept me from keeping them open longer than a second. The smell of copper gagged me. I tasted it. I rolled to my side, emptying my stomach on the floor beside me.

My limbs felt heavy. Something incredibly heavy pressed into my ankles. I focused all my brain power on figuring out a way to move my legs. The clink of metal and the slide of a chain filled the room.

"He chained us up." Julie appeared over me. There were fresh tear tracks on her cheeks. Her lashes glittered in the faint light of a nightlight. She pressed a cup to my lips. "You need drink something."

The water tasted stale but I managed to swallow it without gagging.

Julie put the cup down beside us and put her hands on her knees. She sat with her legs and feet under her as if she were ready to spring up at any second. "Wha-what happened?"

"You've been knocked out for a long time," Julie whispered. Her voice broke on a sob and she sucked in a deep breath. "I did what you told me. I ran. I got to a bridge and there were people. I almost got away, Steph. I really thought I was going to make it."

"Oh Julie," I murmured. To be so close, yet so far- It was so hard to breathe. "I'm so proud of you. You've been so brave."

"No. I'm not." Julie bowed her head. I could barely make out the tears dripping off her chin. "Can- can you just tell me we'll be okay. Even if you have to lie."

"Julie-" I started. My throat tightened, my nose burned.

"Just tell me," Julie whispered. "I'm really scared."

I felt for her. She'd be isolated away from her family, the people she loved, for days now. For a little girl, she'd been resilient in the face of fear all by herself. But I could see the cracks forming around the edge of her hope. Several failed attempts to get away from her captor left her feeling like this would be the last thing she'd ever remember. Being kidnapped, feeling trapped like a bird in a cage.

"I don't need to lie." I lifted my hand and smoothed it over her head, wiped away her tear tracks under her left eye. "You're going to be okay, Julie."

I wasn't so sure about me but I'd deal with that when the time came around.

I dropped my hand and Julie laid her hand down on my forehead and it was cool and comforting. She had a rag in her hand and she wiped my face down, ringing it out beside the makeshift bed. She laid the rag on my forehead.

I bet she learned that from her mother.

Julie flipped the rag over. "How are you doing?"

"I feel like he hit me with a ton of bricks."

"It's the drugs." Julie sniffed and I knew she was crying again. "Scrog said he wasn't sure you'd wake up."

That was a sobering thought but it left me feeling nothing more than hollow.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered to her. "I'm sorry you're stuck with me instead of someone else who would get you out of this mess."

"I'm not sorry." Julie climbed over me and laid her head against my shoulder. "I'm glad I'm not alone."

* * *

..::::..

* * *

I was in and out of consciousness. I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't anymore. Julie's solid presence beside me helped keep me grounded but I kept seeing hallucinations of things crawling out of the walls, out of the floor. The rough feeling of a tongue running up my legs, of teeth biting into my flesh, fingers probing. I jerked awake several times to Julie's wide eyed frantic gaze staring down at me.

I slipped out of conscience again only to have Julie bolt up to sitting beside me.

"He's back." She put both hands into my shoulder and shoved. I groaned, every muscle ached. "He's back."

The sound of him stomping around sent a spike of fear shooting through me. I struggled to get to sitting, Julie's hands shoved under my arms to give me leverage. I wrapped my arm around Julie's shoulder and pulled her against me just as Scrog came through the door.

"It smells terrible in here." His voice slurred and even in the dim light I could tell I'd done a number on his face.

But as bad as his face looked, I'm sure mine looked worse. I couldn't feel my face and couldn't breathe through my nose. I glanced down at Julie and she shrugged indifferently. I was sure after spending days in places where the smell was putrid, it burned out your nose entirely.

He came around to my side, where I puked earlier, and grimaced. I shoved Julie away as Scrog reached out to grab a handful of my t-shirt and pulled me close. His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath puffing against my eyes but I struggled to keep them open and stay focused on every move he made.

"The drugs haven't worn off." The backs of his knuckles ran down the side of my face and he stared into my eyes. "Good. I give you anymore and I'm pretty sure your heart will stop."

Goosebumps rose along my arms and he laughed as he dropped me back onto the bed. He pushed up to standing and stared down at the two of us. "We're moving again."

"Already?" I managed to whisper. My throat was raw, on fire. Swallowing was difficult.

"It's time to enact the final part of my plan." He paused at the end of the bed where he looked down at the chains cuffing us to the floor. He pointed to Julie and jerked his thumb across his throat while his gaze stayed glued to mine. "If you move, she's dead."

I couldn't move. I'd been trying since he came in the room. My brain was fried, my wires crossed. If Julie hadn't helped me sit up, Scrog would know how desperate my situation was. He'd take advantage of me. Of Julie.

I couldn't be weak. Not this time.

He pulled out a key and unlocked the cuffs. The heavy chains fell away but I couldn't will my legs to move. Scrog moved to Julie's set next, not bothering to warn the girl as he unlocked her.

I found it hard to think. Julie had a death grip on my hand and I couldn't find anything inside me willing to give her false hope. I tried to remind myself what Ranger told me to do.

_Push all unproductive emotions aside. Focus on the goal._

Hard to do that when I could imagine what was the final part of Scrog's plan.

"I thought we might head back into Trenton and see some of your old friends. Maybe drop in on your apartment."

"Isn't that risky?" I mumbled and drool trickled out of the corner of my mouth. I tried to wipe my mouth on my shoulder, every inch of movement my body protested and the dull ache throbbed in the back of my skull. "It's the first place the cops will look."

"It doesn't matter anymore."

I slumped against the wall. Scrog must have his plan of attack setup. He'd been extremely clever up to this point.

_Maybe all that gave him the confidence to be cocky_, I thought. Going to my apartment was pure ego talking.

"Ranger won't be there."

"_He_ will be," Scrog told me. The confidence in his voice scared me. "Everything is according to plan. _He_ won't disappoint me."

I thought about it. Until now, Scrog had avoided contact with Ranger. He'd set Ranger up like a game of chess, placing pieces on the board to entice him to play, avoiding capture when he got close. If Ranger showed up at my apartment…

Checkmate.

My mind reeled at the possibility, wanting to dismiss it, knowing it was true. Dread filled me. Ranger's stuff was at my apartment. If Ranger had any inkling Julie or I might be there, he wouldn't hesitate. There was no way to warn him. No way to stop him.

"I'm going to get rid of the imposter so we can be together like a family. You'd like that wouldn't you, Stephanie? For us to be a family?"

"No," I mumbled woodenly. He was deranged. Even through the haze I felt fear. Gut wrenching unadulterated fear. "I don't want that."

Scrog made a sound in the back of his throat. "Liar."

"You don't know anything about me."

"You're wrong, Stephanie." He stared at me unblinkingly. "I know everything there is to know about you and your relationship with _him_."

_Just move_, I told myself. Keep your eyes on the bigger picture. You can't afford to lose your shit now.

"No." I got to my feet, weaving drunkenly, slumped against the ply-board wall. My right shoulder wasn't working. I wheezed and hacked and slouched forward as I spit up blood. I didn't want to think about Scrog's delusional ideas of my relationship with Ranger. How he would twist it into something it wasn't. "You're just pretending to be someone else. You have no idea who Ranger is or what he's capable of; but I do. And you're no Ranger."

Scrog stepped closer to me and Julie stepped in front of me, trying to help. Her shoulders were squared. Her back ridged. "Stay away from her."

"Move, brat."

Scrog shoved her away and Julie fell backwards onto the mass of blankets. She bounced back up, her little fists balled up and I held up my hand to stop her.

"No, Julie," I croaked and gave her a pleading look. I couldn't let her get hurt because of me. "Don't. Not for me."

"Smart. And you've got guts." Scrog wrapped his hand around my upper arm and pulled me away from the wall. "I see why _he_ picked you."

"He didn't." I wheezed, stumbling alongside Scrog as he pulled me out of the room and into an open area setup much like the inside of an RV. "He's never picked me."

"You're his priority. His number one concern." He grinned knowingly at me and my stomach bottomed out. He cut his gaze from me to Julie and back to me. "Maybe not the brat. But definitely you."

_Players in Scrog's game_, I thought. The two people Ranger admitted to not being emotionally detached.

I tried to focus on what Ranger would do. He'd been so worried, not sleeping, working himself to death. His priorities shifted, he stayed close to me. I saw the edges fray to his control. Ranger felt backed into a corner. I wasn't sure if Scrog thought this was a surefire way to make Ranger start making mistakes but it was a death wish.

Ranger didn't play games. He ended them.

"We got to get moving. Big things in store for you two today." Scrog shoved two extra magazines into his utility belt and tossed a paper bag to Julie. She caught the bad and tore it open. She pulled out a bag of salted peanuts and a tiny box of raisins. She watched Scrog warily, waiting until he looked away to stash them in her pants before grabbing out a package of peanut butter sandwich crackers and powdered sugar donuts.

Scrog ripped the bag away from her and tossed it onto the counter beside his weapons. He made a grab for the donuts but Julie jerked them out of his reach.

"They're for Stephanie," she said quietly.

"Fine," Scrog snapped. He fished around in the bag, pulled out a Bearclaw and tore into it. "I hope you enjoy those. They might be the last thing you ever eat."

Julie shrank back from Scrog and limped back to my side. Julie offered up the donuts and I waved them off. I didn't dare. My stomach was in knots.

Instead, I let my gaze wander around the tiny space. There was a duct taped package on the Formica counter. It was about ten inches by eight. Completely wrapped up in tape.

I narrowed my eyes on the package. It was either drugs or-

"It's a bomb." Scrog saw where my gaze was focused and smirked. "I made it."

I grabbed Julie's hand, afraid of what Scrog might do to keep me in line with his plan. "What are you doing with it?"

"I made it for _him_." Julie made a fearful sound as Scrog picked the bomb up and tossed it up in his hand as if it were a basketball. "I'm going to gift wrap you, Stephanie."

All the blood rushed from my head. I swayed on my feet and Scrog's hand slipped under my armpit to hold me up. "Don't be a drama queen. You won't even feel a thing."

"No," I said faintly. I dropped Julie's hand, hoping she would take the opportunity to run and hide while Scrog was distracted by me. "You can't do this. What about the plan to go to my apartment?"

"That's still the plan. I'm going there with the brat." Scrog kicked a chair out from under the tiny kitchen table and shoved me in it. "But you're going to be gift wrapped with this C4 when I deliver you to Rangeman. And I'm going to be close by with a gun to Julie's head. You can choose to save Julie or save him."

"This won't work." I couldn't breathe. I was sucking air, but my lungs wouldn't contract. "I won't go."

"You don't have a choice. You're a player. You go where I command."

I doubled my fist and took a swing at Scrog. My fist grazed his chest and I heard him laugh as his fist shot out and connected with my jaw. My head dropped. My chin to my chest and I fought consciousness.

"I won't." The words bubbled from my lips. I tasted blood. Breathed it. I kicked out, hoping to hit Scrog in the groin but hit his knee. There was a fierce war cry behind him and Julie smacked Scrog on the back of the head with a metal trash can lid.

Scrog slumped forward, hands to his knees and I stumbled to my feet. I planted my fist under his chin and as his head reared back, he lashed out and back handed me. I fell to my hands and knees and his boot found my ribs, hitting me hard enough to lift me off the floor.

I crumpled. The second crack of his fist and Julie's high pitched scream were the last things before my world dimmed away.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

The clues stared back at him in black and white. Hard facts. Each move on Scrog's part had been strategically played out well ahead of each move Ranger made.

Stephanie had been missing 36 hours.

Julie almost a week.

Ranger wanted to sweep all the notes, all the clues he'd gathered off his desk in a fit of frustration. Instead, he raked a hand through his hair and let his fist thump the top of his desk. He leaned forward, propped his elbows on the desk top and closed his eyes. He rubbed his temples as he tried to put the pieces into play.

_Think_. Scrog is playing at being you. What would you do next? If you had the two most important people to your target held hostage, what is the next move?

Draw Ranger out. Make his final move.

Why wait 36 hours?

Ranger didn't want to pursue that train of thought.

Steph was smart. Quick on her feet. She'd find a way to be safe. To keep Julie alive. To keep herself alive. Ranger couldn't let either of them down. He had to find them.

He shouldn't have let Steph go after Julie. He should've listened to his gut. Should've locked Steph away and gone after Julie himself.

Ranger took a deep breath. _Push all unproductive emotions aside. Focus on the goal._

Find the girls, bring them home.

Everything else could be sorted out afterwards.

Ranger's cell phone buzzed and he swooped it off the desk top, barely swiping his finger over the screen before putting the phone to his ear.

"Boss," Tank could barely be heard over the chaos in the control room. "We've got a situation."

He was out of the room before Tank stopped talking. Ranger shoved his cell phone in his back pocket, took the stairs down to the control room. Tank met him at the door.

"There's a courier down in the lobby. He's got a package only Carlos Manoso can sign for."

Scrog.

Ranger turned on his heels, reaching the elevator in just a couple of strides with Tank standing at his side. "How long has he been waiting?"

"Long enough for us to run the business through the system and checked the kid's identity through the program. Both are clean. Legit."

Ranger stuck his key into the emergency hold and punched the code into the key pad. The elevator sped down to an empty floor where both men got off and walked across the corridor to where another set of elevators lead to the front of the business.

"Ranger, we're going to bring them home." Tank put his hand on Ranger's shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "The girls are still alive. Steph will make sure of it."

That's what Ranger was afraid of- that Steph would make sure Julie was unharmed and sacrifice herself.

Ranger wasted no time once the elevator dinged for the lobby. He pushed through the door and walked straight towards the front office where the courier sat in waiting.

The kid stood when Ranger walked in. His messenger bag sat crossways against his hip. "Mr. Manoso?"

Ranger nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest. Tank stood in the door.

"Forgive me, Sir, but I need photo identification before I can allow you to sign."

Ranger reached to his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. The photo identification card he flashed the kid was with the address to the empty lot. The kid flipped open the flap of his bag and pulled a package from the depths. The box was unassuming, brown about six by six. The kid laid the paperwork on top of the box and Ranger scribbled for it.

Before Ranger allowed the kid to take the paper, he fixed him with a look.

"Tell me about the man who posted this package."

A confused look crossed the kid's face. "No man, Sir. It was a woman."

Ranger's heart thumped painfully in his chest. "What did she look like?"

"I don't know." The kid shrugged. "Like a woman."

"Not good enough." Ranger stepped forward, backing the kid into a corner. "I want you to think very careful about your next choice of words."

"I-it was a woman. Short hair, I think, dark. Light skin." The kid scrunched his face up as he tried to recall. "My height. Maybe. Wearing black."

Ranger's hand shot out and grabbed a fistful of the kid's jacket. The kid's eyes went wide and Ranger's hand went to his lower back.

"Was there anyone else with her? Did she hesitate; did she give extra information that wasn't needed to make the delivery?" Ranger itched to crush something. Hit this kid. Hold him hostage as he took him back to the courier service and held everyone at gun point until the company produced the security tape. "Was there a message for me?"

"I-I," The kid's voice broke. "It was just a woman with a package."

"This isn't just a package." Ranger pulled his SIG and left the hand at his side where the Kid's eyes fixed on the gleaming metal. "And Stephanie isn't just a woman."

"Don't." Tank wrapped his hand around Ranger's, disarming him of the weapon. Tank slipped the gun at his lower back and put a hand on Ranger's shoulder. Ranger shrugged him off, his gaze still directed menacingly at the Kid. "The Kid doesn't know. He's not involved. And this isn't going to help."

Ranger dropped his grip on the Kid and the Kid sank to the floor, his knees gave way. Ranger shoved Tank. "Who do you think you are?"

Tank refused to back down. "Get a hold of yourself, man. You're fucking losing it."

Neither man moved. A muscle in Ranger's jaw ticked as he gritted his teeth. Without turning around to the Kid, he barked out, "Get out. Now."

There was rustling around behind Ranger and the Kid was up and moving immediately. The door slammed behind him and Ranger cut his gaze to the brown package sitting on the desk.

Ranger took a deep breath, trying to center himself before slipping the package off the desk top. He tested the weight. Physically, the package weighed next to nothing; but the box felt heavy in his hands. A crushing weight pressed against his lungs. A heavy realization settled on his shoulders.

This could be anything. This could be the final move.

This could be the end.

Ranger turned his back to Tank. His breathing ragged, his shoulders tense.

"Where do you want to do this?"

_Push all unproductive emotions aside. Focus on the goal._

"Bunker." Ranger's voice was raw, the word barely uttered. "Alone."

Tank opened his mouth to protest and Ranger shot him a look. "This package is to be treated hostile. Clear the building of all unnecessary personnel. Move everyone else to the building off Broad."

"Training exercise?"

Ranger nodded, his gaze fixed on the package.

Tank took a deep breath and handed Ranger his SIG back. "Could be nothing."

Ranger slipped the SIG at his lower back and there was a heavy silence that fell between them. "Just make sure you get everyone moved."

"What about you?"

Ranger shrugged Tank off. His long stride got him to the office door in three steps. "All that matters is Stephanie."

The door closed with a soft click behind him.

.::.

The bunker was cold, dark, damp. Located in the depths of Rangeman, underneath the garage and shooting range. There had been times in the early days of Rangeman that the bunker had served its purpose as a holding cell. But now, there was nothing but the old rusted remains of a metal table and chair.

No cell phone service.

No cameras.

Silence.

Ranger jerked the string hanging down in the middle of the room and the soft glow of a single light bulb filled the space. The flicker of an unused light bounced off the metal, gleamed off the concrete floor covered in old stains and flaking rust.

He sat the package down in the middle of the table and stared at it. Ranger tried to imagine what would be inside. What sick and twisted perverted shit Scrog might do to capture his attention. How Scrog would find a way to make Ranger squirm, lose his control, give himself up.

He pulled up his pant leg and pulled his knife. Carefully, Ranger broke the twine tie and slit the brown paper covering the outside. There were no sounds, no smells. Ranger made a small incision in the tape and ran the tip along the seam until the box sat primed and ready to reveal whatever may come.

His heart pounded furiously. Adrenaline zinged through his veins.

_Push all unproductive emotions aside. Focus on the goal._

Ranger took a deep breath and slide the box closer to him. His fingers wrapped around the cardboard flap and pushed it back. Doing the same for the next three to a CD case and a white note attached to the top.

_Two packages are in your possession for the two I hold._

_At twelve sharp make your decision, Rangeman. _

_Stephanie has made hers. _

_Come alone. Come unarmed. _

_I'll be waiting._

The note crumpled in his grip. Ranger pulled the CD case out of the box and studied it. There were no marks on the silver top. Only when the light caught the reflective letter did his stomach bottom out.

A DVD.

That motherfucker had a video camera. And access to a computer. With the single minded purpose of taunting him with images of Julie. Of Stephanie. Rubbing Ranger's nose in the fact Scrog had control.

Ranger clicked the light off, not bothering with the remains of the box but grabbed the DVD. He pulled his cell phone out and dialed the control room.

"Boss." Tank barked out orders at the men in the control room and Ranger could tell the controlled efficiently of SOP would clear the building in five. "Civilians are cleared. Personnel are on the move."

"Good. Operate under the assumption the building is compromised."

"Already in motion. What was in the package?"

"Nothing good." Ranger shoved his key into the elevator and typed his security code. "Tank, get out of the building. I'll be right behind you."

Ranger disconnected and took the service elevator up to the baseline and accessed the main elevator to seven.

He had a single minded purpose. Assess the damage done by Scrog so he could prepare himself to see Julie and Steph face to face. So in the heat of the moment he wasn't so blinded by rage that he endangered them in any way.

Ranger popped the silver disc into his laptop's CD/DVD drive and waited for anything to pull up on the screen. A tiny screen popped up, black and Ranger spun the volume wheel all the way to max.

The faint sounds streamed from the speakers. The distortion was hard to decipher through what was real and what was static playback.

But the faint sounds of Stephanie, whimpering, barely holding back sobs burst through the speaker and Ranger gripped the edge of the desk until he was white in the knuckles.

"_Ranger." _

The static took over and drowned everything out.

Ranger paused the DVD and slid the cursor over the playback bar until he got back to the part where he could hear her. He tried to listen past the sounds of Stephanie. It was tough. His heart clenched. His jaw locked.

Ranger listened; taking on Stephanie's suffering as his own. His own failure to her.

He let the DVD play out, never any video feed. Very little sound. Only Stephanie. Only his name on her lips.

Ranger reacted violently. He swept nearly everything off the desk top. He stood and put his fist through the wall. The pain helped him focus. The pain reminded him that this wasn't helping anyone. Stephanie was counting on him to remain level headed and find her. Rescue her.

And Ranger would be damned if he let her down this time.

He flipped out his cell phone and swiped his finger over the screen. Ranger put the phone to his ear as it rang and burned the DVD to his computer.

"Yo Boss."

"Silvio." Ranger pulled up his email account and attached the DVD file to the outgoing mail. "I need this file analyzed and any video feed pulled to the best quality possible."

"Sure. Time frame?"

"Yesterday."

"Got it."

Ranger disconnected and pulled the DVD out of the computer. He stared at the silver disc before taking a deep breath and replacing it back into the case. This was one piece of evidence Ranger wasn't willing to hand over to the police. And one piece of evidence that sealed Edward Scrog's fate.

As soon as Stephanie was safe.

All bets were off.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

I jolted awake. My arms were asleep. The pain in my right shoulder intensified to thousands of stabs by razor sharp knives. My fingers were numb. There was a heavy feeling in my chest, making it hard to breathe.

My head lolled and I groaned as I tried to force my eyes open. It was dark. The feeling of familiarity filled me.

I cracked one eye open and my gaze darted around the room from under my hair.

My apartment.

Scrog was slumped into a kitchen chair closer to the door. The moonlight streamed through the living room and I could see the glint of steel resting in his lap. His fingers were wrapped around the hilt. His other hand was pressed against his forehead, thumb and index finger rubbing his temples.

"I got papers and passports ready." Scrog shifted in his chair, face tilted in my direction. "If you would just follow my plan, we'll be good together, Stephanie. I'd take better care of you than him."

"Like hell you would." I swallowed hard and tried to find my voice. "I don't want you. I will never want you. You're not Ranger."

"He stole my life, Stephanie. Everything about him is mine. You're mine." Scrog rubbed his hand along his jaw, then ran his hand through his hair. "I'm going to get my life back. Everything will be okay then."

"You're not Carlos Manoso, you sick fuck!"

"Stop saying that!" He waved the gun in my direction but my reactions were too slow to flinch. "I've been trying to make you understand, trying to make you see."

"There's nothing to understand." I turned my head away from him in the direction of a bundle laying in my broken recliner. "We are Ranger's, not yours."

I peeked through my hair clinging to my eyes to see Julie in the living room. Her tiny form barely visible. She was slumped in the sole recliner. Her face slack and her eyes were drugged slits, barely open, unseeing.

"When I get rid of him-"

"You're deluding yourself. You're not going to live through this," I whispered. My voice was thick with unshed tears. I panted to keep from hyperventilating. I was going to die but maybe something good would come out of this. "Ranger will kill you."

"No. That's not an option. He has to make a choice." He dropped his gun hand back onto his knee and rocked back and forth. "If I can't have you, he can't have you. If I can't have Rangeman, I'll take it away too."

_Rangeman, _I thought. Oh God.

"What have you done," I breathed.

"You did me a favor when you refused to follow through." Scrog twitched in his seat and my gaze fell to the gun lying in his lap. His finger was dangerously close to the trigger and one twitch could fire a bullet hurling at my chest. "This is a better plan. A clean break for us all."

My mind raced. "The plan, Scrog. Tell me the plan."

"You caused me a lot of trouble. Too bad I was pressed for time or this final move could've been spectacular." He stood up and started rubbing his temples again. The crazy gleam was back in his eyes. "I put the bomb at Rangeman, brought you two here. If he shows up here, I'll blow Rangeman sky high. If he doesn't walk through that door in twenty minutes, I'll kill you and the brat too."

_Oh fuck_. My vision dimmed. My chin dropped to my chest as I tried to remember how to breathe.

"But between me and you, we both know who he's going to choose."

"Don't do this," I pleaded. A sob bubbled past my lips. "You don't have to do this."

He locked gazes with me and I wished there was a little more strength in my legs. I made a desperate attempt to scoot my chair back. Scrog hooked his boot on the bottom rung and held the chair steady. "Why couldn't you just listen to me, Stephanie? This could've been so much simpler had you listened."

"I'll do anything," I whispered. My gaze was on the gun. "I'll go anywhere. Just leave them alone."

"I'll never be free of his shadow." Scrog's outburst caused me to jump in my seat. "This is the only way. The only way to make it right."

"It's not the only way." I tried to take a deep breath, my voice was shaky, my lungs rattled with each intake. I lifted my chin and stared Scrog eye to eye. "Ranger won't come here. He won't play your stupid game."

"We both know that's not true. He's on his way, Stephanie." He leaned forward so we were nearly nose to nose. He smiled, teeth showing more feral than amused. "Not even Rangeman is more important than you. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he realizes he's going to die for you."

"You're a monster," I breathed past the lump in my throat. "Ranger will find a way to stop you."

Scrog laughed, the sound hollow. "No, I don't think so."

My heart hammered in my chest. "I believe in Ranger."

"Just give up." Scrog brought his hand up to touch my skin, I gathered what spit I could and spat in his face. His hand shot out, but I was beyond pain. My head jerked to the side violently and I spat blood onto the floor and ran my tongue along the inside of my bloody swollen lower lip and my tongue pushed through skin.

"You should start begging me now. I might be persuaded to keep you alive." He grabbed my jaw and held my face still so that we were eye to eye. "Only reason why you're still breathing now is so he knows there's nothing he can do to stop me. So he knows what it's like to have everything taken away that you love. I want him to suffer. I want him to realize it was me who did this to you. It was me who beat him at his own game."

"I'm the best." His eyes were feverish, gleaming with madness. His face was flushed, lips twisted cruelly. He ran his thumb over my lower lip and stared into my eyes. "I'm the best now, Stephanie. No one can beat me."

He dropped his hold on my face and my head fell limp, chin to chest. The room spun, leaving me with the world tilting on its axis as Scrog walked away.

I sucked two deep breaths to push the panic welling up in my chest back down to a manageable level. I heard footsteps coming down the hall and froze, paralyzed in fear. Scrog nearly came unglued. His face lit up and his lips spread to a wide grin.

"If you say anything." He pointed the gun at me and then jerked his head towards Julie. "I'll put a bullet in her brain before I put one in his."

Time slowed. My blood turned to sludge barely moving but my heart beat as if it were coming out of my chest. Several unthinkable scenarios played in my mind. Terrifying, unimaginable, unspeakable. Ranger slumped to the floor. His blood coating my floor, soaking my feet, staining my skin. His unseeing eyes fixed on my face. His hand reached out towards me.

A sob escaped from somewhere deep inside of me.

The door opened and Scrog was ready and waiting. He had one hand on his cell phone, thumb poised over the call button. The other wrapped around the gun aimed at the door.

Ranger came in with his hands up and his gaze found me. I couldn't breathe.

"No," I whispered. "Ranger-"

"Babe." There was a soft smile on his lips, a gleam in his dark gaze fixed on my own. His gaze said everything I'd always thought but never said. _I love you_. "Proud of you."

Ranger's gaze flicked to Scrog and time froze.

"No," I breathed. "No."

"Good riddance." And Scrog pulled the trigger.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

She could hear arguing.

The voices started out quiet. Julie couldn't open her eyes, not for the lack of trying. She was slumped over something soft but there was a pain in her side from laying at an uncomfortable angle for a long time.

Julie slit her eyes open. She could see the faint outline of someone sitting in a chair, arms behind their back.

_Steph. _

She tried to focus on what they were saying. Steph's words were hard to understand. Scrog was animated, his voice cracked as he screamed at her. Then it would get quiet and Julie could hear the gurgling sounds of Steph whimpering as Scrog's voice turned low and scary.

_Come on_, Julie thought. She tried moving but no muscles even twitched. She had to move before Ranger showed up. Steph hadn't said it, but Julie could feel the tension radiating off the older woman when they stood in the RV. Ranger would show up wherever he thought the two of them might be.

Steph had been sure of it. And Julie couldn't just lay here and let Scrog kill him.

Steph had risked her life for Julie and now that Steph was unable to act, Julie decided she would act in her stead.

If only she could get her muscles moving.

Julie focused all her energy on moving her toes and worked her way from there. The dull ache of defeat filled her each time she tried to move her big toe. Sweat trickled down the back of her neck, soaked her shirt. Sweat rolled in the corner of her eyes and the pain wasn't nearly as stinging as it should've been.

Her toe twitched and Julie nearly sighed in relief. She caught herself in time, not to alert Scrog that she was awake and started work on the rest of her toes. After that, the process became easier. Julie was careful to keep her gaze focused on Steph and the edge of Scrog from her vantage point. She'd pause only long enough for Scrog to move out of sight before continuing on.

Another whimper jerked Julie's attention away from moving.

Julie strained her hearing and it was then she could hear footsteps falling heavy down the hall.

That's when she actually heard Scrog's words instead of the dull roar in her head.

"If you say anything." Julie's fingers twitched involuntarily. "I'll put a bullet in her brain before I put one in his."

There was the heavy sound of Steph crying as the door started to creak open. Julie heard the sound of Steph's sob rip out from her chest and the sound of Ranger's voice calm and steady filled the quiet apartment.

Julie's fingers twitched again and she slowly put her feet on the floor. She tested her weight on her feet, hoping now wouldn't be the time that her legs would give out on her. She focused her attention on Ranger staring at Steph instead of Scrog.

Scrog growled and raised the gun.

_This is my chance_, Julie thought. _If I don't do something now, it's all over_.

Julie darted from the chair. The sound of the gun jolted Julie and several cracks happened before she slammed into the back of Scrog. He hadn't expected her and in Scrog's surprise, they both fell forward. The gun and cell phone flew out of Scrog's hands and the gun discharged again as it skidded away from them on the hardwood.

Julie didn't slow down. Her gaze found the gun and she scrambled over Scrog. Her feet tripped over one another, her hands slid out from under her. Fingers brushed over the skin of her ankle and she kicked out, hearing a crunch as she pushed herself away from him.

Julie's fingers touched the hilt of the gun and she desperately grasped at it. Scrog's hand wrapped around her calf and tugged her back just as he started to surge forward. The tiny bit of momentum propelled Julie ahead of him and she wrapped her hand around wood and metal. Julie turned on her side, Scrog poised over her as she closed her eyes and pulled the trigger.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Her fingers trembled. The gun jerked heavy in her hand and Scrog paused for a heart stopping split second before blood started to drip down on her and out of his mouth. He coughed; the sound of sputtering and choking gagged Julie as something warm smacked her in the face.

Scrog put a hand to his chest and it came away dripping with blood. Julie stared wide eyed as he tried to take a breath, the rattle sent a chill down Julie's spine as Scrog tried to push himself away from Julie. His eyes were unseeing as he slipped in his own blood and fell on top of her.

His face was turned towards her. His eyes were glossy. Dark. Dull. His mouth partially open as blood poured out of it to a slow trickle.

Julie dropped the gun and screamed.

She pushed him, trying to budge him off her. His weight was crushing. She couldn't breathe. Blood was everywhere. She desperately wiped at her face but the smell only thickened. The sticky sensation was slick and warm.

Shadows filled the apartment and a light was flipped on. People rushed around, and the weight of Scrog was pushed off her. A shadow rested above Julie, staring down at her before he crouched down.

He spoke to her, but Julie couldn't hear what he said. His skin was dark and his shoulders so broad he was the only thing she could see. He was easily a hundred times her size.

A man named Tank.

His hands went under her arms and lifted her as he stood. His arms pulled her close and she felt his heartbeat under her hand.

He spoke to her again, calm and soothing as he turned to take them out of the apartment. Julie twisted and her gaze fell on Stephanie. There were people rushing around her, talking to her, attending to her; but she could tell Stephanie wasn't listening. She thrashed around in the chair, her gaze never left Ranger.

Arms pulled Julie closer, hugging her, whispering to her in hushed soothing tones. But she couldn't tear her gaze off Steph.

Stephanie was still screaming as the man named Tank carried her out of the apartment.

Julie didn't think she'd ever forget that sound.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

I don't remember much.

The sounds of Julie screaming. The terrifying sounds of my own. Ranger's blood everywhere. The rush of SWAT and Feds. The whirlwind of EMT's rushing inside. I remember seeing it. Everything seemed like a dream. A very bad, never-ending nightmare.

EMT's checked me over even as I told them I didn't want the attention. Morelli questioned me but I couldn't speak. I don't think I could even if I wanted to tell them everything.

I just wanted to see Ranger.

I sat beside Ranger in his hospital room unwilling to leave his side. His hand was warm in my own. There were all these machines beeping. All these tubes and wires hooked up to him as if he were about to become some Frankenstein project.

"The Doctor said he's going to be okay. Going to have a few weeks of recovery." Tank came into the room with Julie glued to his side. Her tiny hand was dwarfed by Tank's massive paw. "He's just doped up."

I nodded. My shoulders slumped, my heart heavy. I nearly sacrificed the man I love for Julie's life when he said he wasn't willing to do the same of me.

I couldn't breathe past the lump settled in my throat. "And Rangeman?"

"Everyone got out before the bomb went off. Rangeman was constructed from reinforced steel. So the damage is extensive but not a total loss. Mostly the garage and first couple floors took a hit." Tank cleared his throat, his dark gaze steady on my own. "Steph, Ranger knew what he was doing. This wasn't your fault."

I flicked my gaze back to the man lying in the hospital bed. "I guess."

"Steph?" Julie dropped Tank's hand and came to stand beside me. She put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "I'm glad I got to meet you."

"Me too." I sighed heavy as I glanced at her from over my shoulder. "I didn't do so hot keeping you safe, did I?"

"You did the best you could." Julie patted my shoulder before slinging her arm around my neck and hugged me as if her life depended on it. "I'm alive."

I'm glad she was because I wasn't sure I felt the same way.

"Are you okay?" Julie whispered and I felt the hot sting of tears bead up on my lower lashes.

I looked at Ranger breathing easy in the hospital bed and took a deep breath to steady myself. Then I wrapped my arm around her back and hugged her back, almost afraid to let the little girl go.

"I will be."

* * *

..::::..

* * *

The buzzing of my cell phone on my kitchen counter brought me running. I slid on the linoleum as I reached out to grab my phone.

The number that popped up on my Caller ID was unfamiliar. The area code from not around the tri-state area. I stared at the number flashing. I shouldn't answer it, I thought. I didn't need to invite trouble. I'd had enough trouble to last me six lifetimes. But I flipped the phone open. I mean what the heck, right? The only psycho I'd encountered lately was six feet under thanks to Julie Martine's dead accurate aim.

"Hello?"

"Steph?" Julie's girlish voice, high and sweet, filled the receiver and I found myself smiling. "It's me, Julie!"

"If you're trying to reach Ranger-"

"No, no, no! I wanted to tell you I got home okay. And uh-" Julie paused, leaving an awkward silence between us. She seemed to figure out that was weird thing to call about because I knew her parents flew up from Florida specifically to fly home with her. "And I wanted to ask if we could be friends? You know, maybe, if that was like okay?"

Stunned, I sank into one of the remaining kitchen chairs.

"Sure," I breathed. "You can call me whenever, Julie."

"Really?" Julie's voice perked up. "That's so awesome!"

I heard her mom, Rachel, in the background yell for Julie to come down for dinner and her positive reply back. "I gotta go! Talk to you later!"

By the time I managed to say, "Later," Julie had already hung up.

I stared at the phone in amazement and then I laughed. No way would Julie call me back.

Would she?

* * *

..::::..

* * *

"I don't want to come over, Lula." I shouldered my cell phone as I juggled my full hands with the front door key. "I just got home."

I kicked open the door and dropped my pocketbook onto the kitchen counter. I shoved half an upside down pineapple cake into my bare fridge and slammed the door shut with an aggravated sigh.

"Are you at your apartment?"

"Where else would I be?"

"You don't have to stay there. Tank said there's an open apartment on five. I have the keys. I can run them by or you can meet me here."

"Lula, I can't stay at Rangeman. The place was bombed because of me."

"It wasn't because of you." I could hear several of the guys at Rangeman running around shouting at one another. Tank's voice boomed over all them, giving out jobs and directing manpower. The sounds of heavy duty construction going on in the background of it all. "The damage is really not all that bad. And now that communication is back up and running, all the employees are back living in their apartments. Come here, Steph. You don't have to stay there."

I made a noncommittal noise in the back of my throat and paced my tiny kitchen.

"I'm okay here." I looked around my apartment and tried really hard to remember how to breathe. The memories were overwhelming. It was like reliving a nightmare all over again. "Really."

Lula huffed softly into the receiver. I knew her well enough to know she didn't believe a word I just said.

"This isn't your fault. Stop torturing yourself like it is."

"I'm fine. Stop nagging me like an old maid."

"Who you callin' old maid?"

"I think it's pretty obvious. There are only two people having this conversation and I'm not talking about me."

"Someone has to do it. Everyone else is pussy-footin' around you like you're gonna break." There was the squeal of a cordless drill in the background. "Have you been to see him? Talked to him?"

"No."

"Steph," Lula hedged with that motherly tone she'd taken to using with me in the past week. "Ranger talked to Tank earlier today. He's being discharged in a couple of days."

"That's good." I drummed my fingernails on the side of my phone. "He'll be glad that things are running smooth there."

"I'd think he'd be more interested in how you're doing." Lula sighed on the other side. "Are you coming back to the office?"

"Maybe. No. I don't know." I blew out a sigh. I really didn't want to talk about it. Or talk about anything. "I gotta go. I'll call you later, Lula."

I flipped my phone closed and dropped it on the counter. With a flick of my finger I sent the phone sliding away from me. I leaned my elbows against the tile and dropped my head in my hands. I couldn't face Ranger. I couldn't tell him what I'd done. I let my guard down. I didn't take Scrog seriously.

I lost the panic button.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

It started out small. Just glimpses. Vague memories.

I took myself off the painkillers and anti-anxiety meds. The Doctor wanted me to take them but I couldn't stand the way they made me feel. The inability to function, to move, to escape. I could barely stand upright.

I felt drugged.

I felt like I was back with Scrog all over again. It wasn't helping me forget. The pills made me feel trapped. Made my dreams seem more like nightmares where Scrog wasn't dead and he visited me every night.

I was exhausted. I fell between the sheets; but as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was reminded of my late night visitor. I tried to stay awake. Just tried to stay aware. Tried to make sure I was really alone, in my apartment, in my room.

I floated in and out of consciousness, hovering right on the edge of dreaming. At least I thought it was a dream. The feeling of hands pressing me down into the bed. The harsh whispers of, "Stay still. Be quiet. I don't want to hurt you."

These words drifted through my conscience. Over and over again until the sounds grew hurried and the hands pressing me down went to my neck and started choking me.

I jerked awake. Wide-eyed. Heart racing. Barely any time passed at all.

I laid there the rest of the night terrified to sleep. I checked the locks several times. I locked and relocked all the windows. I searched the shadows for anyone who might be lurking. I tossed and turned, staring at the red numbers on the readout praying I would just pass out. Yet, when I did, the dream was back, warping reality and paralyzing me with fear.

The shadows turned to a man. The silence turned to crazed whispers and harsh accusations. My bed turned to a prison. My reality a nightmare.

_I just needed time_, I told myself as I pulled the blanket up around my shoulders and curled into myself.

Time would make this go away.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

I knew it was going to be tough heading back to the bond's office. The debacle with Joyce Barnhardt working at the bond's office wasn't going to work itself out. I had no desire to team up with her. I hoped she drowned in a shallow puddle of her own piss, to be quite honest. But I had to admit that when it came down to it, she got the job done.

And I really had no desire to keep doing it.

I pushed through the door, finger waved to Connie, who was on the phone, before sliding up beside Lula barking out instructions on how to file properly.

"No!" Lula plucked the file out of Melvin's hand and turned it so she could get a better look. She smacked him on top of the head. "Dumbass! What the hell! Say the alphabet in your head while you're going through these. 'D' does not come after 'E'. It's the other way around!"

"Sorry, Ms. Lula!" Melvin said meekly before taking the file back and carefully putting the manila folder in its proper place.

"Damn skippy," Lula said, crossing her arms over her ample chest. "Why don't you take a break, Pickle. I've gotta take care of some business."

"Sure thing, Ms. Lula!" Melvin jumped off the stool.

"Hey Steph!" He flashed me a toothy grin as he went into the break slash bail bond collateral room.

Lula rolled her eyes in my direction. "Don't think you can sneak up on me, white girl. I've known you were here the whole time."

I eye rolled. "Bitch, please."

"Who you calling bitch, bitch?"

I smirked and nudged her shoulder with my own. "The baddest bitch."

"Well," Lula flipped her hot pink curls over her shoulder. "If you put it that way, I'll forgive your skinny ass."

I turned so that I could lean back against the wall. "Where's the quacker and you know who?"

"In his office." Lula cut her gaze to the back office and back to me. "You gotta come back because I can't work with her bitch ass."

I flicked my gaze to the back office. If Joyce wasn't in there I'd just get this over with. But I knew what was going on in there and didn't want to throw up the three donuts I'd just managed to keep down.

"Yo, Steph." Connie hung up the phone and flipped her Cosmo to the deepest darkest parts of her desk. "I got a couple of skips if you want them."

I inclined my head toward the stack of outstandings. "Who's in there?"

Connie pulled open a drawer to retrieve a nail file. "A wife beater and grand theft."

"And the rest?"

"Subbing out to Rangeman." Connie separated the files out of the pile. "There's been some bad shit going down. We've done about twice the amount of bonds since Rangeman took a hit."

I found it hard to breathe. If only I'd been stronger. If only Ranger-

"Don't." Lula cut her gaze to me. "Don't you dare even think it."

I pushed a hand through my curls and I sighed hard. "Whatever."

I pushed away from the wall and eyed the back office door one last time. I needed money. I needed something to occupy my time and mind. But I couldn't do this. I wasn't ready-

I stopped that train of thought. I had to do this. I had to prove nothing changed. I was still the same.

"Thanks." I slipped the files off Connie's desk and flipped one open just to glance at it. "I'll let you know tomorrow if I'm going to do these."

Connie shrugged her shoulder as she rounded off one of her nails. "Sure thing."

I bumped my hip against the desk as I pushed away and Lula cleared her throat, cocked her hip and gave me a look. "Where you going?"

Lula could see right through me. See through all the denial and excuses. She watched me like a hawk, just waiting for the second I lost my shit and starting running down Hamilton stark naked.

"I've gotta run some errands."

"I don't buy that for a second." She huffed and tried to cross her arms over her chest. "I'll get my purse."

"No, it's okay. You're busy bossing Melvin around." I suspected Tank put Lula on me as a tail to report back every move I made. "I'll hit you up later."

"If you go after those skips without me," Lula eyed me. "I'll kick your ass."

"Calm down." I didn't need Lula breathing down my neck as I drove around looking for any excuse to avoid my apartment. "It's an errand not a tag-team match."

"Steph-"

I couldn't deal with Lula right now. I didn't need someone shadowing my every move. Second guessing my every action.

"I gotta run. See you guys later." I hightailed it out of the office and didn't breathe again until I was sat firmly behind the driver's seat of the Mini.

I dumped the two files into my passenger seat and dropped my forehead to the steering wheel. I wrapped my hands around the wheel and gripped the vinyl until my knuckles turned white. I took several deep breaths, trying to calm down.

My cell phone rang and the screen danced Lula's name in lights to some obnoxious rap ring tone she'd set for herself. I looked up and Lula was standing in the front, cell phone in one hand, staring at me sitting in the Mini.

I slid my finger across the screen to ignore the call and fumbled to turn the Mini over before she charged out the office door.

I U-turned in front of the office and sped down Hamilton. I guess there was always tomorrow to talk to Vinnie.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

_The smell of blood was cloying. I felt so heavy but so light. My mind floated. My arms were restrained above my head. My feet chained to the bottom. I jerked and twisted with no avail. _

_The room was hot. My body feverish. My blood sludge in my veins. My gaze unfocused. _

"_Help me," I called out weakly. I smacked my lips together. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. "Help me."_

_The door opened and Ranger stood there. The light streamed behind him, making it too difficult to see the details of his face but he was dressed in all black. Fully dressed to kill. I squinted as he came into the room, and his weight dipped into the mattress. _

"_You're going to be okay." His calloused hand caressed my cheek. "I don't want to hurt you."_

"_We have to get out of here."_

"_No, we need to stay."_

_His lips pressed against my ear, his hands turned bruising, demanding. I twisted away from him. "Ranger! Stop!"_

"_Yes," a new voice hissed, as fingers curled around my jaw holding me in place. "I love it when you call me Ranger."_

"_No!" _

"_I'm your only one now, Stephanie. Call me Ranger. I'm going to take good care of you."_

"_No!"_

"_We're a family now, Stephanie. Julie killed Ranger. Just as it should be."_

"_No! No! No-"_

I flopped out of bed, surprising me awake as I hit the hardwood floor. The blanket was tangled around me. Sweat matted my curls to my face and neck. My shirt was soaked. My sheets were twisted off the bed. I slumped forward as I brought my knees up to my chest.

I was alone.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

I pressed the button up to seven. He'd been discharged from the hospital earlier today and I'd been stalling all morning. I was armed with cake. Who cared if it was a day old and was addressed to some dude named Stan?

If I was going to do this, I needed some comfort food.

I finger waved to the security camera for the control room and used my key fob for access. I keyed open his apartment door, knocked and stuck my head in. "You home?"

"In the office."

I dropped my stuff on the breakfast bar and made my way into his home office. He sat at the desk. He wore gray sweats. The hooded sweatshirt had the sleeves cut off it. Pain etched into his face.

There was a large square bandage taped to his neck and his shoulder was heavily wrapped. He held it close to his body, though I noticed the sling was tossed in the chair in the corner.

"I thought you were supposed to rest."

"Too much on my mind." Ranger winced as he shifted in his chair. "You didn't come by the hospital."

I shrugged as I shoved some papers around on his desk. I perched myself on top and braced a hand on either side of my hips. "I figured you had enough visitors without me crowding you too."

"You're the only person I wanted to see."

We stared at each other for several moments before he lifted his hand to my cheek. His thumb traced the black circles under my eyes. I watched his eyes move from the stitches above my left eye, the ones on my right cheekbone to the six below my lower lip. He didn't know about the Ace wrap around my ribs. The sling for my right shoulder I'd ditched yesterday. "Why didn't you stay?"

"It wasn't my place."

He gazed into my eyes, searching for something. "It's always been your place."

If I closed my eyes, I could remember Ranger standing in my doorway at the apartment, willing to give up his life to save me. My breathing hitched and I averted my gaze. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Okay. We can wait," Ranger relented. "But what if I want to talk about what happened?"

My heart started to pound. My stomach rolled. I swallowed hard. "You know everything."

"No. I've read the reports."

"Well, it was all right there." I shifted to hop off the desk top and Ranger caught my wrist. He looked at my face, staring with such intensity I felt as if all my secrets were laid out in front of me. I flicked my gaze to over his shoulder and reminded myself no one knew. No one would know. "I don't know about you but I need some water."

"Don't run away." Ranger turned his chair so that we were face to face and stood up. He favored his right side heavily, but it didn't stop him from letting go of my wrist and running a gentle fingertip along my swollen jaw. "You can't run away from this. Not this time."

I knew right then. He knew something was off. Something was different.

"Babe."

I started to tremble. My knees shook under the weight of holding me up. "Everything is okay."

"It's not," Ranger said gently. "I'm not okay. Talk to me."

His fingers on my cheek were whisper soft. He leaned into me and I backed away, pulling myself out of his grasp. His hand fell from my cheek and the distance between us may have been only a few inches but the gap started to feel like an ocean separated us. "It's okay to ask for help."

My heart hurt. Everything hurt. Unable to talk to him. Unable to confide in him. I felt as if I were dying.

"This was a bad idea," I murmured, turning on my heels. I had to get out of here. I had to put some physical distance between us before I had a breakdown. "I have to go."

"This is your choice, Babe. I'm right here." I paused at the door to his office, hand on the door frame as I struggled to catch my breath. I half glanced over my shoulder to see Ranger watching me intensely. "And I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

..::::..

* * *

_The road was dark. The sharp rocks bit into my feet. I heard vehicles but couldn't see them. I ran on adrenaline but it was so hard to breathe. _

_Julie. I had to find Julie. _

_I turned around and stared into the eyes of Ranger. His dark gaze never left my face as he reached for me. "Why did you run, Stephanie?"_

"_I'm trying to find Julie. Scrog is after her."_

"_Why did you run from me? You know I don't like it when you play these games."_

_I backed away from him. The gleam in his eyes turned darker. His lips twisted into a snarl. His hands shot out and grabbed my upper arms but I was quick and twisted away. I slipped in the dirt and as he came closer, I kicked him in the chest, sending him falling backwards. I pushed myself into standing only to have hundreds of pounds of muscle slam into me. A hand ran up the back of my thigh, pushing between them. _

"_You won't run anymore." His voice nothing like Ranger's as he hissed and snarled and growled in my ear. "Stephanie."_

I stared at the red numbers on my alarm clock. My eyes were wet. My hair clung to damp skin. I pulled the blanket under it was under my chin and shoved my fist against my mouth as a sob wrenched free.

I just wanted him to go away. He wasn't going to let me be free.

_Just go away._

* * *

..::::..

* * *

"You sound terrible."

Julie was nothing if not brutally honest. Without fail the kid had called once a week for the past month. I'd been avoiding Ranger and I was beginning to think maybe he was doing the same. He'd tried to get me to tell him what was on my mind several times. I just didn't know what to say. I was unable to get past the nightmares. And for someone who'd seen worse and done worse, I was sure Ranger would be disappointed in me.

"Thanks," I muttered sarcastically. My throat was raw from crying myself to sleep. Each intake burned and made it hard to swallow. "How is summer school going? Doing okay?"

"Yeah, it's alright." I heard her flop onto her bed. "Mama says I need to pay more attention to my grades and no so much about my hobbies. I told her shopping was a good way to teach me how to manage money and she should up my allowance to teach me a lesson."

"That's brilliant!" If only I'd been that sneaky when I was her age. Rachel must have her hands full with a preteen and Julie's younger brothers. "Everything else going okay?"

"Yeah." Julie trailed off. "I'm still seeing the therapist. The nightmares are getting better. I can sleep at night without the light on. I can walk down the hall without wanting to pee my pants every time I see a shadow move."

"Julie! That's great!"

"Yeah," she said softly. "You still haven't told me if everything is okay there? How is Ranger?"

"Ranger is fine. He's always fine. It's like he was never shot." If only I could bounce back like that. "I heard he's gonna be there next week."

"I don't know if I'll see him."

"Why not?"

"I dunno. Weird, I guess."

"Hey, it might be weird at first but he's still Ranger. He's still going to reply only in single syllables and give the look."

Julie giggled on the other side. "The look?"

I nearly dropped the phone in shock. "God! You don't get the look? The "I can't believe you just did that?" look?"

Julie giggled even harder. "I think that's probably only a _you_ thing."

I eye rolled. "Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome," Julie chirped. "Will you come down to Miami with him?"

I shifted uncomfortable against the kitchen counter.

"Probably not," I said softly, trying to let her down easy. "We're really not like that, Julie. We just work together."

"Oh," she sighed, disappointment filled her voice. "Maybe sometime you can come down to see me?"

"Sure," I lied.

"That didn't sound convincing. You need to practice lying."

I genuinely laughed. "Not the first time I've heard that kid."

"Just being honest!"

"Julie-"

"Just think about it." I swallowed hard, thinking of a million reasons why I couldn't go see Julie Martine. "Mama said it's okay. She'd like to meet you. So all I need you to do is think about it. I'll call next week. Bye, Steph! I miss you!"

"Later, Julie."

I hung up the phone heavier than I was when I answered it. Julie was so full of life and I hadn't any doubts after the incident that this would hold her down for long. So why did I feel like I was floundering? The wounds festering, the nightmares worsening night after night.

I felt as if I was never going to be the same and that scared me.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

_I was slow to wake. My consciousness slowly came back but was still tinged with the nightmare. The shadows slid from the walls, sharp claws and fingernails tore into my skin, slithered over me, and blanketed me in blood as they twisted my dreams. I tried to roll over, but handcuffs were locked around my wrists. I tried moving my legs, but found my ankles tied to the foot board._

_I turned my head side to side, unable to speak. Unable to scream. _

_My eyes locked on him standing at the foot of the bed. He pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the floor. I shivered, struggled to pull away from the mattress. Covers twisted underneath me. _

"_It's okay," he touched my foot, ran his fingernail along my arch and I screamed for help. _

Help me.

Help me please.

"_It's okay, Stephanie," his voice hissed through his teeth. He stared down at me with those black eyes, soulless eyes and a wicked grin split his face. "It's okay."_

_I kicked and screamed and jerked on the restraints. The bed bucked underneath me as he ran his fingers up the inside of my calf, to my knee and to my inner thigh. _

No.

_I screamed. Someone had to hear me. _

"_It's okay," he mockingly soothed. His hand went underneath my t-shirt and I sobbingly screamed for him to stop. _Stop._ "It's going to be okay. No one can hear you now."_

_I twisted, the handcuffs pressed into my skin painfully but his hand moved unhindered. _

"_It's all okay now." He fondled my breast, squeezing until his fingernails bit into flesh. "I found Julie. Don't cry, Stephanie. I'm going to teach her not to run away again."_

_The sound of crying hit me like a ton of bricks. I turned my head to see Julie sitting beside me in the bed. She was missing her pants. Her feet were bare. Tears streamed down her face. _

_I lost my mind. I desperately tried to get loose. I babbled and screamed and pleaded. He ripped my shirt off, the feeling of his body pressed against me. The smell of sweat was overwhelming. I gagged and coughed. _

_He reached out to grab Julie and I nearly blacked out. _

_I screamed for Julie. Forced to fight, unable to get loose. I struggled until I couldn't move even an inch. I screamed until I lost my voice. _

_She lay next to me. Eyes glossed over. Chest barely moving up and down. Her lips bloodied. Her skin pale. "I'm okay."_

_I cried. I'm not okay. _

I'm not okay.

* * *

..::::..

* * *

I peeled off my shirt; skin stuck and peeled off with the cotton. Sweat clung to my lower back. My head ached, the pounding intensified with each beat of my heart. I half-turned in my medicine cabinet mirror and brought my left hand to my right shoulder.

I looked like I'd been through a meat grinder, not skidding ten feet on asphalt.

My right forearm was pretty tore up. As were both of my hands. The knees in my jeans were gone. I turned back around and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

Not good.

I flipped open the cabinet and grabbed out the peroxide. Then pulled open a drawer to get the tweezers and cotton balls. I slammed the drawer shut and slapped the mirror closed and found Ranger's reflection right next to mine.

The peroxide fell from my hands. The tweezers clattered into the sink.

"Ranger!" I braced my hands on either side of the sink bowl and doubled over. Fear churned in my belly. "You scared the fuck out of me."

"You tangled with Ortiz?"

I blew out a breath I'd been holding. "I fucked up."

"I heard."

I brought my gaze up to his in the mirror. His lips were set at a grim line. There were worried lines etched deep in his forehead. He looked at me as if he could see right through me.

I averted my eyes.

I didn't want to think about it.

I reached for the tweezers at the same time Ranger did, our fingers brushed and I snatched my hand back only to wish I hadn't. I was stiff from him standing so close. My flight instinct screamed to run away.

_He was standing too close_.

But I held my ground and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and reminded myself he wasn't the one who made me this way. It was all in my head.

_Push all unproductive emotions aside. Focus on the goal._

I was better than this. Ranger never acted this way.

"I did what I had to do." I squared my shoulders and caught his gaze in the mirror. "I stopped him."

"Ortiz is a mid-level dealer." Ranger poured peroxide on a cotton ball and pressed it to my shoulder with no warning. It burned. Tears stung my eyes but I bit into my lower lip. "Not worth jumping off a car hood onto a moving motorcycle."

"I had the element of surprise."

"You got lucky."

He didn't need to say the rest. _You got lucky you didn't die._

"I got the job done," I bit out through gritted teeth. "That's all that matters, right?"

"No." He grabbed the bottle of peroxide. Ranger took my forearm and pulled me over towards the bathtub. "Stop doing stupid shit, Babe."

"Stop being a jerk." I tried to jerk my arm away from him. "I didn't ask you to come in here and take over."

"Too bad." He thrust my arm over the tub and poured the liquid over the entire length of my forearm. My fingers tightened into a fist on their own accord. "Don't hold your breath. It makes it worse."

I sucked air, hissing through my teeth as the peroxide bubbled and burned over shredded skin.

He loosened his grip on my arm when he was sure I wasn't going to black out but didn't let me go. "When are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" I ground out between my teeth. My temple throbbed, pain radiated through me.

"Why you're doing this to yourself."

Suddenly the very small bathroom turned into a closet. And he was too close to me and asking the wrong questions.

"I'm doing my job." _Push all unproductive emotions aside. Focus on the goal._ "This is how I'm going to do things from now on. I'm changing."

"You already have."

"Get over it." I jerked my arm away from him and shoved my hands into his chest. I ignored the warning bells going off in my head. Frustration bubbled up and left me boiling over, seething and foaming at the mouth. "I'm doing as you do. Leading by example and all that bullshit! If I want results I have to go out and get them. I can't just sit around and wait for someone to fix this for me. I'll never get better. Ever!"

His dark gaze held mine. "Tell me, Steph."

"There is-" My heart was hammering away inside my head. I felt dizzy and sick. I braced a hand against the wall. "There is nothing to tell."

"Don't lie to me."

"Go away," I whispered brokenly. My breathing turned into a harsh pant and I tried to put a bit more force behind my voice. "Just get out."

"No. I'm not leaving." Ranger held his ground, way too close for comfort. He took a step into me. He leaned over me, so close I could feel his breath ruffling my hair. He ran his hands up my arms. "You're avoiding me. Running away from me."

I closed my eyes. The dull roar of everything around me faded and my vision went spotty.

"Don't touch me. Please don't." I shoved him away, pushing his hands away from me. Ranger reached up to keep me close to him but I twisted away. I darted out of the bathroom into the bedroom and pointed towards the front door. "I need you to leave."

"Why?"

"I didn't ask for your help. I didn't ask you to come here. I don't need this."

"Do you know what it's like to hear about Ortiz on the streets and then hear you went after him by yourself, Steph? No backup. No one knew. All on your own."

There were several seconds when I thought he might reach for me again. I couldn't breathe. I watched him, ready to dart at any second. I brought my gaze up to his face and there was a look in his eyes I'd only seen a handful of times throughout our partnership.

"I get here and see you bleeding, shaking, upset." Ranger took a deep breath. "I spend all my time worrying over you. I'm trying hard to give you space, Steph, but you're making it so fucking hard."

_Oh God_. I was just a second away from a meltdown and held it in the best I could.

"Why are you doing this to me?" My lower lip trembled and I sucked it into my mouth, biting into it to remind me to keep it together. "This hurts so much. I want it to go away but you keep bringing it up. Let it go. Forget it. I have."

"You haven't." Ranger paused beside me. His hand cupped my cheek and I turned my head away from him.

"This affects me," he murmured. "You affect me."

"Give up, Ranger." I turned my face towards his. My eyebrows scrunched together. A frown graced my lips. "This isn't worth it."

"No." His thumb brushed over my cheekbone. The caress whisper light and he bowed over me, lips pressed into my crown. "Let go of whatever it is. Let me help you."

"I don't need help." I felt tears betray me and leak down my face. I angrily swiped them away. "I need trust and space. And for everyone to stop breathing down my neck and watching me like hawk. I'm okay."

_I'm okay._

"You're not okay." Ranger tipped my chin back and wiped away some of the tears underneath my eyes. "You might not be ready to admit that right now, but it's never too late. I won't give up on you, Babe."

* * *

..::::..

* * *

_I saw Ranger standing in the doorway and I pushed myself to standing. Each movement was like trudging through quicksand. The harder I tried, the further I was. _

"_Ranger," I screamed. "Ranger, watch out!"_

_The manic laughter sent chills down my spine and Ranger lay on the floor, his blood spilling out faster than I'd ever seen. His hand gripped mine tight, blood slicking our fingers. _

"_I love you," I whispered. "I love you, Ranger."_

"_You're going to be okay." He smiled up at me as he laced our hands together. "I don't want to hurt you."_

"_Why-"_

_Ranger's face morphed into Scrog's and his grip on my hand turned crushing. He flipped us and his arms became vices. His knees pinned my hips to the floor. Ranger's blood soaked me and I turned my head to stare into dead eyes. _

"Steph?"

_Hands were pressing my shoulders down. Hips bruised into mine. I panted, disgusted, stomach rolling. I could hear his voice whispering in my ear. His breath putrid, tickling my ear. _

"Babe?"

_No. Don't use that name. _

_I kicked and punched and threw all my weight into budging him off me. I screamed and cursed and riled against what he was doing. _

"Damnit!"

_Arms wrapped around my torso and pinned my arms down. I reared forward and smashed my head against his. Pain exploded behind my eyes. _

"Shit."

I bolted awake, struggling against a hard body pressed against mine. I wiggled and bucked. "Get off! Get off!"

Arms loosened and I scrambled away to the opposite side of my bed. I put my back against the headboard and pulled my knees up to my chest. The blanket was securely around my waist and I stared into the eyes of Ranger.

.::.

I swallowed hard, afraid. Ranger shifted on the bed and I flinched away as he put his hand on my foot. He reluctantly took his hand back and sat it on the bed beside him.

"Babe?" Ranger's gaze found my own. "Now is the time. Talk to me."

Tears choked me. I swallowed down a sob I knew I couldn't smother. I felt hot tracks pave a way all the way to my chin and jaw where they dripped onto my shirt and blanket. I covered my face with my hands to keep Ranger from watching my pathetic display.

"There is nothing to say," I whispered, averting my gaze. I picked at a broken string on my blanket. "Nothing to be done."

"Babe-"

"I don't know what happened." I choked over the words. "I can't remember."

My voice was too quiet to be heard, muffled through my hands. It was incredibly hard to breathe, even harder to keep from sobbing. "I keep having these dreams. I hear his voice, sometimes the words are unclear. His face is always close to mine. My eyes are unfocused so it looks like you at first. Then the shadow turns him into Scrog. He's whispering to me. Telling me things. Touching me. I scream until I lose my voice. I fight, unable to twist away. My arms are restrained. My body too heavy to move."

The only sound in the room was heavy breathing. My own. Maybe Ranger's. I didn't know. My fingers trembled. My body shook uncontrollably.

"He drugged me and I couldn't move." I whispered brokenly, unable to keep it to myself anymore. "He ripped my clothes off. His hands were all over me. Touching me. Bruising me. Crushing me."

I sucked a deep breath between my teeth and buried my hands in my hair.

"He made me choose. He was going to touch Julie if I didn't choose him." My stomach rolled and I bit back a gag. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against my knees. "He found the panic button. He told me to call him Ranger. He told me he was going to hurt Julie and I just wanted to keep her safe. And he just wouldn't stop. This never ended. He wasn't you but he kept saying it over and over."

Ranger swore under his breath and stood abruptly from the mattress. I jumped out of reflex and curled further under the blankets.

Ranger barely made a sound as he rounded the bed to the side closest to me. I tensed as I watched him crouch beside me, hands braced on the bed. The lines in his face were strained. His eyes dark. His jaw tight, lips thinned.

"I'm sorry."

I blinked; tears fell off my lower lashes. "This wasn't your fault."

"I would never-" Ranger ran a hand through his hair. "I should've done more."

"No," I whispered. "You didn't do this to me."

"Fuck," Ranger said under his breath. "Fuck, if he wasn't dead-"

"He's dead." I shuddered. He was alive in my mind. "He's dead and gone."

"Yes, he is," Ranger paused. "You're nightmares are serious business."

"No." I knew what was coming. I didn't want to see someone. I didn't want anyone to know. "No."

"How long have the nightmares being going on?"

Since the beginning. Every night for nearly two months.

"I've had just a few."

Ranger leaned, his gaze found mine. He knew I was lying.

"Just don't." I shivered unable to stop it anymore. The trembles grew until I couldn't stop and couldn't stop crying or sobbing. The mattress dipped and strong arms wrapped around me. I leaned into him, too scared to be afraid of touch. "I don't want anyone to know."

"I won't. Not right now." He tugged me closer. His body heat sank into me. "Just trust me."

I didn't respond. I just pushed my face deeper into his shoulder and thought if I could just have five minutes where I didn't feel like my entire world was about to fall apart, I'd take it.

"Ranger," I mumbled, my throat raw, voice trembling. "I'm not okay."

"No." He gathered me as close as he could and pressed his lips to my temple. "But you will be."

* * *

..::::..

_End of Panic Button._


End file.
